A year and a couple months ago, I realized I was... Confused about what gender I liked. I always thought that I knew how I felt, but then, I found out I wasn't sure. About a year ago I realized I liked girls, and I thought that was perfectly normal and that no one would discriminate me against that. Now I realize it's quite different and there are some people who don't understand, and that I could get bullied for it. So, I never came out. I thought just keeping it in would be alright and whatnot, but then I developed feelings for a friend of mine. She and I had been close friends for a long while, then we drifted slightly, now we're really close. So close that I decided, or at least recognized, that I had developed feelings for her. I would confront her and talk about it, but... She's straight. So, like many, I have this problem. I want to tell her how I feel, but I'm afraid of how she feels about it. I realize that there is a slight possibility that she, too, is lesbian, but I'm afraid to take the risk. Should I confront her anyways and tell her how I feel, or should I stay how I've been for the past year and keep my mouth shut.
I feel like what you're looking for is closure. There's this whole possibility of "what if?" that's consuming you, and the best way to do that is to get something concrete that you can work with. Perhaps there could be a third option - find out her exact sexuality. You mention that she's straight, but do you know that for sure? You said there's a possibility too that she is gay. Try to create a conversation about LGBT somehow: pick up an article, talk about some recent news, open up Yahoo, etc. While you're on the subject, you can ask her, "Would you ever do it with a girl?" or "Would you ever get in a relationship with a girl?", and see what she says. If she says that she would, then you could proceed and tell her about your feelings. If she says no, there's your answer, and it's not worth risking the relationship. Hope this helps. Good luck
I agree with Steve. You do seem to want closure and his strategies for working out how she feels about this stuff are quite good. I'm in a similar situation with my crush as well and I'm planning to wait until I can get more valid evidence of her sexuality. The only thing I'd advise is to be careful and wait until you are sure it's the right time. There is a chance that you'll never be friends in the same way with her again if you tell her, so just keep that in mind. Best of luck. (*hug*)
