Okay so I have posted about the issues with my mom in the past. She's not a bad person... she's just... I don't know how to word this, she's a typical mom that is over concerned for her son. Here are the things she's freaking out about. I seriously believe she may be mentally unstable, but she refuses help because she can't afford it. 1. Empty nest syndrome - It's my Senior year and I will be going to a major University that is only 30 minutes away next fall. She is freaking out because she says "I'll never get to see my baby!" Granted, I understand. And I will come see her whenever I can. Not only that, she believes she has nothing to live for without me, without me her life is meaningless. That she "might as well just die without my baby" I can't live with that stress, it's killing me. Because I worry about her, I mean, she's my mom. I love her. But I want my own damned life. It's ripping me in two directions, my future and aspiration to become a psychologist, and my mother's need for her to have constant access to her only child. 2. Money. My father stopped paying child support the moment I turned 18. Which per the divorce decree he is not supposed to do. He owes us nearly $5000 in backed child support and medical expenses. She worries how she will pay for for my classes when I plan on taking out federal loans and applying for pel grats etc. and my University has a program that pays for all tuition that is not covered by scholarships. Once I graduate highschool. It all ends. $775 in social security for me every month, my health insurance ends because my father is responsible for that. Not to mention child support. That all kept out house afloat and she's extremely worried about that. I don't blame her. 3. Her illness. She's worried about her illness, she has a very painful combination of rheumatoid arthritis and lupus that makes it hard for her to get up every day. She has Medicare. Medicare does not cover jack :***: when it comes to medications that can help. She works as a substitute teacher for my school district which made everything a touch harder growing up. She's legally declared disabled, her prognosis was continued gradual deterioration. For life. That is why she has Medicare. It's just... hard... 4. Me, she's worried about my stress despite her being the ultimate and entire cause of the stress that has been in my life for ultimately the past 5 or so years. She cries because, well... I don't really know. One of her issues is with the thing literally every person complains about. My mom still has a problem with, well, me being gay. I mean, I know tons of people have it way worse than me in this aspect. The recent attacks in Oak Lawn (the gay community in Dallas) have her concerned "This is why I worry about you being openly gay" She words it just like that, like it's to be detested. And it hurts. I don't want support, I don't want disdain. I want it to be treated as though it is normal Nothing special, nothing wrong. The last thing that happened. Was a freak out of ALL of the above the other night. When she gets like this she unloads literally everything I've done wrong in my entire life on me. We started kind of yelling at each other and crying. She started telling my what I did wrong again. I told her to shut up, tears in my eyes. I'm growing used to this... When I told her this she said "Don't you ever tell me to shut up, other wise I will tell you to get out" "You wouldn't" "Wanna bet" I wanted to walk out then and there, she :***:ing finally calmed down, we hugged, she took a shower and got ready for bed. But I actually considered grabbing some clothes and camping in my car at my highschool parking lot until Monday and going to school. Then maybe eventually going home... I had a psychologist appointment in Dallas today. We kinda talked, and they said we needed to air all of the empty nest syndrome stuff out in the open with counseling. Which I do, and sometimes my mom goes as well to the same person. There's one scheduled for next Thursday. I want to get my mom these books... One for parents of Gay kids Amazon.com: This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life eBook: Dannielle Owens-Reid, Kristin Russo, Linda Stone Fish: Kindle Store And one for empty nest syndrome http://www.amazon.com/Chicken-Soup-...722&sr=1-1&keywords=empty+nest+syndrome+books :help::help::help:
I understand what it's like to feel like you're tied down to your parents. It's a good thing that you love her and care for her, and the counseling is always a good thing. But... it is your life, and you need to live it. Maybe you should tell your mom this - that you do want to be independent. Any good parent will understand. That's what parenting is all about anyway - raising your kids right so that they'll grow up to be strong, confident, and independent adults. Just make it clear that you still love her and you're not leaving her because you hate her or anything. I'm not sure if you wanted advice (seems like a venting thread, which is OK), but I thought I'd give you my two cents. Good luck
Obviously, your mom loves you. I know it's hard to understand her issues but I have to say that you must keep it together for her. I have a mother like this, too. But whenever I think about myself IN HER SHOES, I don't think I can handle the problems as well. It sounds like she has nobody. Her husband left her, struggling for finance, disabled and she's worried so much because the only person she has is you. She loves you so damn much that she worries your future, even your mortality. Yes, she's scared that you will die! I don't think it's about you being gay at all. She's scared that you'll receive hate and be killed because of your sexuality (which is obviously a legitimate concern) In my humble opinion, don't run away. She's just an anxious woman who had so much struggle in her life and she feels nothing is right in her life. And the only one she can get support to is you. I pity your Mom. She must have gone through a lot for her to be like that.
