So I've recently started a more serious relationship with this girl. She's been my best friend for four years now and she's liked me a lot for most of that time. I realized my sexuality and started having feelings for her more recently. Anyway, we've been talking a lot about furthering our relationship and how we feel and last night she told me she's been sad lately. I asked her why and she said it's because even if we do have a relationship, we're going to have to both go to college (we're juniors now). And we won't get to be with each other anymore. She started crying when she said it. She still wants a relationship though and she begged me not to feel guilty about it. I tried to reassure her and it's not that I feel guilty but that I don't want us to do anything that's going to cause her hurt in the end. Thing is, she's gotten very depressed in the past and attempted suicide before and I worry about her a lot. She said going to visit some colleges recently which she was excited about only made her realize more that we'll have to leave each other as we'll likely be going different directions and she got sad about it. I think when high school's over she's going to be very, very sad. I'll be sad to but I think it will be a lot worse for her and I worry so much, especially since she's already scared about leaving home and she's going to be on her own. I don't want to do anything that furthers the relationship (we haven't done too much serious stuff yet like kissing) that may hurt her but since we've been friends for so long and have such a connection, it's not like we can just go back to being friends. Our feelings aren't going to change. So I just don't know what I can do to ensure she's going to be okay at the end of high school. I don't want to hurt her. Like we were going to have our first kiss soon possibly but I don't want to do stuff like that if doing that is going to make it worse and I don't know how to make sure she won't be in too much pain in the end. Sometimes I think it may be better to keep it more platonic? Like still be in a relationship but not dive into the whole meeting eachother's families and kissing and going on lots of dates type thing? But even then, I mean that's what we both really want. But I don't want that if it's going to hurt her more. I don't know if stopping those things from happening will even help anyway since we're already so attached to each other. Like even if we stayed just friends but still had the feelings it would still hurt a lot to leave in the end. Any advice on how to ensure she'll be okay in college? Or how to handle this so there's as little hurt as possible? :icon_sad::help: Thank you so much if you read all that. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you all(*hug*)
Leaving for college is a time for a lot of change and that can be daunting to think about. Here's a question you may want to ask her: Why do you have to break up? Plenty of relationships end with high school, for a lot of reasons, but they don't have to. There's always the possibility you could go to the same school and, even if you don't, you can still stay in contact. I'm afraid to say that there isn't a lot you can do to make sure she'll be okay in college, other than just be the supportive friend you are. If you're really worried about her, you may want to suggest that she seek professional help.
Thanks for the advice. You're right. I guess I'll have to figure that out more with her. I don't know, we'll see. I just get sad about her being sad because she's such an amazing person and she cares about other people so much and she wants to be a gynocologist and she's really ambitious. I just don't want our relationship to detract from any of that for her because she's got such a great future ahead of her and I want her to do well and be happy. Sorry for rambling, but yeah. This helps though because I guess I hadn't thought about that much. Thank you.
