This isn't really lgbt related but I don't have anyone talk to this about so here goes. I became really close friends with a girl we'll call Bee. I met her in August when I started school and we were best friends. But we've gotten into a couple disagreements lately and it mainly started because I felt like I couldn't trust her. I told her and my friend Laura that I liked another girl at school, and who it was. But now, for a couple of reasons which i'm not going into, I don't feel like I can trust her anymore. And sometimes she will make a joke about me being a lesbian or bi, which I don't mind I just think someone will over hear her. She doesn't seem to get that I don't really want her to talk about it. I think I might be able to trust my friend Laura though. We have only known each other a few weeks, but we are pretty good friends already. She tells me and Bee everything. And we have talked about more than I really have with Bee, and I've kind of been wanting to hang out with her more lately. We can relate to each other too, because we both have had anxiety attacks or something similar. I feel like I can talk to her more freely. I still don't trust anyone 100% though. And I've gotten involved in all this stupid drama this week, and I almost got into a fight but walked away. But I'm sure I'm gonna fight the girl tomorrow or Friday. Anyways, I feel like she hasn't been treating me the same since our first disagreement, and she told me she wasn't involved in the drama and wasn't going to help me fight or anything. But I feel like we just aren't the same, not as close. I don't trust her though anymore. I feel like the fight made her more.. wary of me or something, although she sure doesn't mind gossiping or talking about other fights. Most of the time I just don't want any friends. But sometimes I want a close friend who I can trust and count on. But everyone seems so.... fake or mean. And I am shy so that doesn't help; and everyone says I'm emo, because I honestly like to wear a lot of black and I'm depressed. Anyone have any advice? About finding real friends or anything? Thx in advance
Finding close friends can be difficult, especially in middle school, and freshman year of high school. I met my 3 closest friends throughout the course my life in very different scenarios. My friend Isaiah, I met in 3rd grade in a very weird way. Another friend of mine, Jaquan, bullied him because he was black, and I sort of just went along with it because I wanted to fit in with the "cool kids." But after Jaquan moved, he and I got closer and closer, and now he's like my brother from another mother! I won't bore you with more personal stories you probably don't want to hear, but the moral of this one is that you can find friends for life in the most unlikely of places. There's no designated area where you can find them, they can be anyone, anywhere, as long as you give them a chance. I have many female friends too, so I've witnessed firsthand how girls can treat eachother like shit sometimes. "Bee" sounds snotty and mean to me, so you're right not to trust her. But Laura on the other hand, she sounds like she has potential to be a really good friend, but if you don't step outside your comfort zone, I don't think it'll grow into any more than it already is. If you really feel like she's nice enough, let her know how much you appreciate her, and how much her kindness means to you. If she knows how much of an impact she has on you, that could be what's needed to help you two get closer. After that, just keep it causal. Talk about school, social media, crushes, gossip, whatever common interests you two have. The rest however, is up to you. Good luck! I hope I've said something helpful... :/
