Some of you may have seen that I've posted a lot of stuff about trouble I was having with my family. The thing is I have to say I don't think it's as bad as I thought it was a few days back. Whenever they ask stupid questions about my sexuality or say anything that seems remotely negative, I have a way of getting paranoid and anxious. I went so long anxious and worried about what the response would be, and I prepared myself for the worst case scenarios. All this fear and worry just kind of imprinted worry and fear into my mind about it. It has been difficult to fully purge myself of it, but I feel like I have finally stopped panicking about it, and I can see things more clearly. I found myself concerned that somehow the worst case scenario was taking place, and I wasn't seeing it. It's really sucked, because I am starting to see that my paranoia wasn't even true. I was just worried, because I had myself expecting bad things for so long. That time that I posted about where I thought I overheard my parents saying horrible things was erroneous, I can recall. I remember my Mom saying, "Well there would be" about something. However, now that I remember back it was unclear what she was even saying it to. In my paranoid state, I found myself drawing the conclusion she was saying there would be uncertainty about their relationship with me. The thing is that despite some stupid questions at times, they have seemed to come around, I think. They even said some things I said about it "sounds good". They have told me that they love and support me regardless of who I am with or my sexuality. I don't feel like there is too much judgment about it at all right now. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation where they expected a negative response, and then when it didn't happen, they found themselves anxious that it was somehow about to or they were missing something? I feel that I am getting over this nervousness. I also still have this odd apprehension about saying outright that I am bisexual or that I like guys. Instead, I just kind of find myself not saying it straight out a lot. I feel like I'm in the process of getting over my anxieties though.
I'm going through the same thing right now. I've been out to my parents as bisexual (I didn't feel like explaining pansexual, so I simplified it for them) for just a couple of weeks, and I'd honestly thought that they'd disown me or something and never want to see me again. I hadn't even planned on telling them anything for a long time, but the right moment for coming out about at least that much just kind of happened after they got concerned and apologised when I (more forcefully than I intended) stated my opinions on their church's policies toward LGBT people. Years of worrying, and it turns out they were more concerned about the fact that I've been pushing them away than anything else, and they're insisting that they love me no matter what. It kind of felt like a really weird dream at first, and then the anxiety was back and I'm terrified of going home to visit them for Christmas (like maybe they'll change their minds?). And I still panic a little bit when they text or call, I guess out of habit? I'm not entirely sure why. I'm glad your family's reaction was better than expected, though, and that you're starting to get over your anxieties. Hopefully the nervousness will pass with time. Best of luck!
