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Question/Rant for the Black Sheep Out There

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Rydia, Dec 12, 2015.

  1. Rydia

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    About 95% of the people I am related to are pretty much opposed to everyone who isn't straight, white, Republican, American and Christian.

    My dad in particular is always on some rant other other about black people, gay people, muslims, "libtards," Obama, etc.

    For the most part, I ignore them. I don't respond when they are making these comments in person or if they persist, I tell them I flat out don't intend to have the discussion with them. I avoid reading the stuff they post on Facebook, etc. They know how I feel about this kind of stuff, but that doesn't stop them from telling racist or homophobic jokes, making hateful comments, etc. when they know I can hear what they are saying.

    However, I accidently read one of the many things my Dad posts daily (it was the first post on my news feed)...this one was an anti-Muslim thing....and of course the first comment from another relative (one of my cousin's husband) is somehow a rant about Muslims, Obama and gay people lol. For whatever reason, this one just made me feel sad in the way I usually don't when I read these ridiculous over the top rants these people post.

    I think living in the middle of a red state, surrounded by family that does not share my views on much of anything has left me feeling a bit like I'm trying to sneak through enemy territory or something and I'm just feeling a little worn down by the glut of negativity.

    I don't want to be fighting with these people all the time, but then again, I get kind of annoyed about never expressing my opinions either, because I know I'll get ganged up on.

    Anyway, this is mostly just a rant. Sometimes, I kind of feel like a coward because I don't bother to speak out against all their non-sense, but most of the time, I just figure they aren't going to change their minds because of anything I have to say, so it would just be a waste of time. What do the rest of you black sheep do?
     
  2. ANerdWhoCares

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    "Sometimes, you just gotta say...'fuck the haters.'"

    In a scenario like this, perhaps the best thing you can do is distance yourself from all this hatred. It's not going to improve your life in any way by staying near it. I'm not much of a social media kind of person, so I'm guessing that's what you meant by "news feed." Let people know that their hateful viewpoints won't be tolerated by you any more. Someone goes on a rant; un-followed. Things will ONLY change if someone makes a stand, and says "this isn't right." Sounds like that person has to be you... :frowning2:
     
  3. Jase26

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    I wouldn't be so down on yourself as like you said, nothing you say is gonna change their views. It's not cowardly whatsoever. So just sit back and let it be.. At the end of the day you're the fortunate one as you're the only one strong and able enough to actually view things as they are as opposed to taking the easy route and attempting to fit in by joining in with their ignorance..

    Although giving them the benefit of the doubt, their views don't necessarily make them bad people, they've obviously just been programmed to view things that way from generations before them.
     
  4. Minx

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    I keep quiet, because I know if I get started relatives will start running for cover. :lol: It's hard to make an impact when you're outnumbered given that a group mentality fuels itself against anything you try to explain or point out.

    I personally don't use social media. I could just never adjust to it. So that cuts out a lot of negativity, the downside to being off the grid is missing everything good beyond the negativity.

    My family is... discriminatory in ways that confuse me. They're easily swayed by stereotypes. So I find myself avoiding them most of the time. It's the best course of action for myself, and probably suits a good majority in similar situations. My confrontational side never solves anything with them. I wish that there could be more of a rapport, but oh well. Families. :rolle:
     
  5. Rydia

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    Yeah, you're probably right about that. I left home as soon as I graduated from high school and literally moved a thousand miles away from my immediate family and stayed away for about 20 years, but then my mom got really sick and I moved closer to where they lived, because she needed help and now it's the constant barrage of guilt trip, "I hated it when you lived so far away, I don't know what I'd do if you left again," sort of thing that keeps me from fleeing them again.

    As far as the social media stuff goes. It's kind of the same cycle. I unfriend them, they notice, get all whiny about it and I end up caving and adding them back. I probably should just take a stand and say as long as this is what you're going to be sharing, I don't want any part of it, so just deal. Honestly, I don't know why they even care, since I'm not very active on my Facebook and only really have it to stay in touch with my out of state friends and the LGBT group here in town.

    Anyway, thanks for the response :slight_smile:
     
  6. Aspen

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    My family is the same way. My mother has a strange tendency to turn any conversation I try to have into a rant. Like last summer when we were talking about the Star Trek reboot movies and she went off on a rant about George Takei and gay people.

    I just grit my teeth and try to spend as little time with them as possible (difficult, as I live with my mother). I've tried to argue but that just makes things worse for me, because my mom a master at telling me I'm wrong even if it what she says doesn't make any sense. When things get really ridiculous, I vent to my girlfriend (we have similar political beliefs and so do our families).

    As for Facebook, try clicking on their profile and unfollowing them instead. That way you'll still be friends but their posts won't show up in your feed.
     
  7. HeraldofSithis

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    I know exactly what you mean. I'm in a few group chats with my dad's half of the family, who are all Seventh Day Adventists (unless they left the Church and get ostracised). They're very bigoted and opinionated. Sometimes I really can't be bothered because I have better things to do, but when I "do battle" I just kill them with my arguments. I can be very vocal when I want to be and I know what I'm like, so I just tend to keep quiet (hence why many think I'm shy).

    At the end of the day it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks, so all you can really do is just hold your viewpoint and let them know how you feel about them talking like that around you. If they persist, as others have said, just ignore them on both social media and real life if possible.