I recently started dating again. I have been on 3 dates so far and only one had been good. On the first two dates, there was "no chemistry." For the first date, I did not feel a connection. He was a nice guy; I just did not see a future for us. For the second date, the guy was....boring. Now my third date was so different. It is one of the best dates I've been on. We went to dinner and were talking for about two hours. the conversation moved very smoothly. We then decided to go sight seeing and that went great as well. At the end of the date we kissed good bye. That then turned into a make out session. I do not hook up and I made that clear when we first started talking online. He invited me to his place, but I declined. I had work the next day, and i did not have my uniform. We continued talking the next few days and then he asked when we were having sex....This caught me off guard. I'm not a prude but I want to build a solid relationship before hand. I explained that I wanted to see if we could be more; I'm not just looking for sex. He explained that he thought I was a great guy he didn't feel any chemistry. This has been the first time this has happened to me. When there is no chemistry both sides usually know. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that "duh, he's just not into me that way." But writing this really helped. He then suggested we be friends with benefits. He said he wants to be friends but he also likes me in a sexual matter. What is your opinion on FWB?
With the right person FWB can be a lot of fun. But. You are more interested in him than he is in you. There's a power imbalance here and you are likely to develop feelings that it sounds like he won't. Be careful of your heart.
One more thing, Should I try to get him to give me another chance? As in, invite him on a date and we will see how that one goes. If he still feels there is no chemistry, I'll leave it at that and if there is then there is no problem.
Another date, no strings attached is probably a good idea. maybe make it a coffee date or something. Where the two of you can chat. Who knows, you may find yourself with a great friendship.
We hung out today and I realized "ok, he's not that into me." While hanging out he seemed a little more "not present ." I think friends is a good title of what we can have.
It sucks to be in a situation where one guy wants a relationship and the other wants something more casual. There's no harm in going for the casual fun as long as you don't start falling for him, but eventually you will lose interest and move on. You need to keep in mind what you want and be true to yourself. Why did you pass on guy #1?
I'm going to focus on building a friendship. I don't have any gay friends so I think this will be a nice change. My date with guy #1 went ok. The conversation went ok but he was too bland. There was nothing that made him stand out to me. I felt like I was the one having to pry for information to keep it going. I just did not feel "chemistry" i guess. This is probably what the guy that said this to me meant. He just didnt feel it. Not to sound pompous but I'm not used to being rejected. It caught me off guard when he basically rejected me by saying we did not have "chemistry."
