hey guys, started posting on here on yesterday and now i have all sorts of questions for you all. so i have a girlfriend of about a year, who i love and am attracted to. but im also attracted to men and have urges from time to time to hook up with them. i havent come out to anybody, and the rare occurences of hoooking up with guys has been by complete chance, i dont go out looking for it.. it just comes to me randomly, either by alcohol or one of my gay friends knowing i want to 'experiment' hoook up , whatever i feel bad because i always want to sleep around. with men and women alike. i am only 22, i bartend, im good looking,in shape have tattoos and work in a good area so i am always tempted. i have cheated on my gf only once , with a woman, and felt pretty bad about it. my gf would be devastated if she found out, and if she found out i hooked up with a dude, she would proabbly feel even worse. i dunno . i want to sleep around, but eventually settle down, be it with a man or woman, i dnt care as long as im in love with them. but honestly would prefer to be with a woman because i want to have kids of my own one day. anybody else worry about things like this? i know its strange to think about kids but my older brother just had a kid with his gf and i am very jealous and want to start a family within the next 5 years or so... obviously after i figure out my 'issues'.... if it were a perfect world: i would stay with my gf while being 'allowed' to hook up with chicks and dudes alike, until we wanted to settle down together. but that would never happen haha love you guys thanks for reading!!!
Tough situation. I mean, I can't say I'm super experienced in relationships myself but I think it would be best if you're honest with her. It's going to suck, but you don't want to found a relationship on lies and always have that to hide from her. You've done it once without telling her and you continue to have temptations, so it's not totally unlikely you won't to do it again. You can't continue like this and have a healthy, trusting relationship with her. I think you ought to tell her. It'll hurt but I'm sure she'd like to know, don't you think. you'd want to know if it were her. And I think you should open up to her about being bisexual if you haven't already, and also talk about maybe having an open relationship. She may not want that and you'll just have to accept it but you need to have communication about this stuff. It won't be good in the long run if you keep going behind her back. It's okay to have urges and be honest about that but acting on them in secret is different and you don't want to hurt her, especially if you want to settle down and have a long-term trusting relationship in the near future. I hope this helps and good luck.
While I'm currently more identifying as gay than bi, I lived most of my life in that bi realm (dating women while being sexually attracted to men, though in my case it was pretty much only guys I was sexually attracted to). My advice to you would be to first off tell your girlfriend that you're bi and not interested in monogamy right now. Yes, it means she might break up with you, but it sounds like you want the chance to explore things more than you want to be in a monogamous relationship with her. And that's okay! Just do what makes you most happy. Right now, if what will make you most happy is being able to sleep around with any hot guy or girl you want to, then that's what you should be doing (safely, please). Just be honest about it. Don't lie to your girlfriend. Dishonesty is where we all get in trouble.
Thank you guys. I don't have the courage to tell her yet but I know I should . I know we should probably split up, for now at least, but it's hard for me to imagine her sleeping with someone else. I have a lot of insecurities and issues with jealousy. I know that's not a reason to stay with someone .. but I dunno. I hate being single cuz I always feel alone and love having someone to listen and support me , and she's very good at that. Thanks for your quick response and solid advice. Yall are great
