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My Female Friends Don't Get Me Anymore.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bridgek, Dec 15, 2015.

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  1. bridgek

    bridgek
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Houston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm at the point now where I've come out to pretty much all of my friends. While the response has been accepting overall, I've noticed that relationships with my straight girl friends have changed. Since coming out my bonds with my gay male friends and straight male friends have grown stronger, while those with my straight girl friends have gotten weaker. While I don't think it has anything to do with homophobia, it's hard to find common ground with them. They usually talk alot about guys, and I always listen, but when I try to talk to them about girls, they act awkward and are pretty unresponsive. Even when we're not talking about crushes or relationships it's awkward. I go to a school with a pretty big LGBT population and I'm not the first person in my friend group to come out (a few guys have come out as gay), so I'm confused as to why I'm any different from them.... While I love hanging out with my guy friends, I really miss talking with girls and having sleepovers and doing girly things. How do I get girl friends back?
     
    #1 bridgek, Dec 15, 2015
  2. bookandquill

    bookandquill
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    inside my head
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    A few people
    How recent have you come out to them? If you came out recently, just give them some time and see if you return to normal.

    Otherwise, I recommend talking to them and getting to the root of the issue. Ask them what's making them uncomfortable or awkward.

    Overall, I'm really not sure how to deal with this. But I hope you resolve this :slight_smile:
     
    #2 bookandquill, Dec 15, 2015
  3. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    Yeah that's tough. I've felt that way with my best friend who goes to my old school. In my school, it's also a large LGBT+ community and a very close-knit grade so there weren't really problems there.
    I'm still working that out personally. I think it's good to talk to them about it. Or if you don't want to call them out, you could just say like "I just want to make sure you guys know my being gay won't change anything, I'm still the same person."
    I guess it's like when you have one identity (part of which was being straight), you relate to your friends through that identity. So when a bit of your identity changes (from their point of view), you can't relate to your friends in the same way as before. But that doesn't mean you still can't relate to them in many other ways, and talking about other things. Don't hide yourself. Introduce them even more to this new you. It's important to not hold back if you want to talk about girls I think because now they're getting to know a bit more of the real you. It could just take getting used to and time. Invite them over, hang out more, try not to act differently even if they do if possible.
    I hope this helps and best of luck!
     
    #3 bubbles123, Dec 15, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2015
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