Hi there~ lately I've questioning and doubting myself a lot because of a crush I have on a girl at school. So, I actually started noticing her last year but I wasn't totally into her because I was so shy about people finding out my sexuality that I mostly kept it a secret until now that I've told most of my close friends, I've started to like that girl again and be open about my crush on her. Last year, I didn't take any actions to take a chance to talk to her or anything, but this year I am! Which I'm proud of, but not really at the same time. I've been giving glances and sometimes long looks at her because she gives them back to me. Sometimes when I grab lunch and walk down the lunchroom, she'll turn back and watch me walk to my table. At first I thought it was weird, but then I started to like it. I liked how she was giving me this attention that I had never received much of last year. She did this a lot, and not just in the cafeteria but also after lunch ended. Our classes are in the same building so I see her walk by a lot and I usually use that time to either hide my existence or to engage in conversations, trying to look busy but actually deeply hoping that she'll say hi to me, smile or look at me. For about 2-3 months, we've only exchanged glances at each other and nothing more. Sometimes I would smile at her but then quickly turn away because I'm so shy. Sometimes I would hate myself for being so shy and not being able to approach her and get to know her better. This doesn't count, but a few weeks ago I did go up to her and compliment her hair but that's nothing though... I only felt like a creeper UGH About the glances that we exchange, I always feel like maybe she could be interested in me too? Like if she wasn't, she wouldn't look at me, right? So why does she give me all of this attention? I'm so confused. One time at a game(which I wasn't so interested in), I kept looking at her because she was pretty near me. Maybe it's because I didn't have my glasses or something, but I saw her look back a few times. I left the game pretty early and walking through the hallway, I turned back to see if she was there, and she was! We were both stopped in the hallway, looking at each other and I thought it was a funny coincidence! We stared at each other for a few seconds before turning to our separate ways.. But it all changed today, the 15th of December. I bought a cookie today from my close friend and I had actually planned to talk to my crush yesterday, but I freaked and chickened out because I wasn't ready, although I wasn't ready today either. I told myself that it was now or never, so after lunch, I pretended to be in a conversation and waited for my crush to walk by. Watching her walk farther and farther, I forced myself to walk towards my crush. It wasn't the first time I had approached her, but this time it would be a formal and proper introduction. I tapped her shoulder and said, "Excuse me?" She turned around and I said, "Sorry to bother you, but I think you did a really good job at the rally. But I forgot to tell you so I want to give you this." I gave her the cookie, she said thank you and then I introduced myself. I didn't say much because I was kind of dying inside. We shook hands, I said "See you around!" and left to my class, literally in tears because for so long, all I've wanted to do was talk to her! Doesn't matter how short the conversation is... Her smile and beautiful eyes really made my day and I can't stop thinking about her. The thing is, how should I approach her so I can get to know her better and be her friend without exploding inside every time I see her? I don't want to make it obvious but I feel like I might have already. I don't want to be a stranger to her anymore. Please give me advice! And also encouragement! I know that it's hard to tell if she's into me since we're basically strangers and the only thing we've done is exchange glances so I really need help TT - TT
There's not much to do other than fake some confidence and try and get talking to her, in all those awkward sort of moments when she's around and you just look at each other and don't really talk, just start up some dumb small talk with a friendly manner and smile. If you see her in the corridor just say hi, and if you're going in the same direction, ask her what class she just had and then see if you can start talking about something neutral like "oh yeah, I hate how that English teacher sets so much homework or something". That's a key thing, ask her about what she's doing and such, then continue, don't just start talking. You'll be exploding inside no matter what, you justhave to fake some confidence long enough to say a few short things and get used to talking to her a bit, and get her used to you talking to her. Once you're getting into the flow of that, if you can find out what she's interested in, or there's anything you know she's interested in try and show some interest in these things.
