So this Christmas is the first that I will spend with my moms side (yay!) And I'm not out to my grandma or great aunt yet. I know they'd both be accepting but is coming out on Christmas day a disaster waiting to happen? Is there anybody who's done that before?
I'm just thinking out loud (online?) about what I would do if I were in your shoes. If I were worried about coming out on Christmas being a disaster waiting to happen, I'd err on the side of caution and choose a different day. Tensions run high on holidays, a lot of people want to focus on the holiday and getting through itself (so whatever takes the focus off getting through seems like an obstacle to be overcome), so I wonder about how people would field all those things at once. You don't want your coming out to be eclipsed by a holiday and--if it doesn't go as you planned--you don't want to be coping with hurt on what is supposed to be a happy family holiday. Let your coming out be its own thing--and be proud of yourself for having that courage. That's what I would do, but I'm one person with a narrow window of experience. Whatever your decision, I hope it goes spectacularly.
If you know for sure that they will be kind and accepting it should be okay to tell them at any time, but I would urge you to think carefully before you mention it on Christmas Day. The build up to Christmas is often fraught and stressful and when the day arrives most people want it to be happy and perfect; to be able to relax without any drama at all. Introducing a big issue, like your sexuality may cause conflict on Christmas Day. On any other day, your grandma and great aunt might be fine with it, but it could backfire on Christmas Day.
What Patrick said. My family wouldn't give a flying fuck about the day but MOST families care a lot. Actually, a good time might be around the New Year if you want to make it kind of a celebration sort of thing.
Just a thought. If this is the only time each year you see them, it may be a good opportunity to talk to them privately. If you can visit them at another time during the year, a heart-to-heart one-on-one conversation might be the better way to go. I'd rather they focus on what you are saying, rather than if the turkey is done, if uncle Mel has had too much to drink or they better get going or you won't get a good seat at church. I can tell you that I have found senior women most accepting.
