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How To Piss Off My Parents

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Contact1111, Dec 21, 2015.

  1. Contact1111

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    My parents are saying that they love and support me regardless....... but they are saying that they don't want me doing anything with another guy "under their roof" and are acting all unsettled about things. Their attitude of being kind of uncomfortable with it is just irking me bad, and I want to do something to piss them off. I'm not sure how I'll do it, but I'm annoyed by them and I want to irritate them in a sort of passive aggressive sort of way. One idea I had was to watch a bunch of porn (including gay porn) and leave all the tabs open for them to find it....... or maybe leave a tab open from this site like the one I had in sexual health about wanting to blow my some people I used to be friends with....... It was kind of crazy like once I was doing mushrooms with the one guy like I used to do all the time, and at one point during the trip I had to leave the house because I just couldn't stop thinking about doing that. At one point I closed my eyes....... and it was crazy like it fucking happened but it didn't. I definitely don't recommend the stuff though to people, because it's just straight up fucking crazy....... like I used to see aliens in my room and shit sometimes. He didn't know though, thank God. I just said I was tripping major balls and wanted to just chill by myself in my room........ which was true. When I got home, I stopped thinking about it and just chilled in my place and all sorts of crazy shit happened. These days we just don't really hang out anymore since I moved. I mean it would be pretty fucking obvious since I told them I was bi, but I'm sure they'd probably be uncomfortable about it and awkwardly not say anything. I'm not sure, I've also considered doing something else like telling them about my ideas of becoming a satanist....... and maybe dressing the part like wearing a shirt with a pentagram on it or something....... or maybe reading the book of satan. I'm sure I've pissed them off plenty over the years with all the reckless, idiotic stuff I've done...... but now they're irritating me so I want to return the favor. Any suggestions...... I figure if I piss them off enough maybe they just won't give a shit about me anymore and I won't have to deal with their bullshit. I know they care about me, but it's fucking annoying the way they are acting all unsettled about me being bi and all. They're not acting like they really love me less or want to disown me, but their attitude of acting uncomfortable with this is just irritating the fucking hell out of me. It makes me uncomfortable with them, which just makes me want to make them be irritated by me too. I don't want to yell or start trouble, just some ideas for some passive aggressive things I could do would be much appreciated. I've thought of some, but any suggestions will help. Sorry if I sound like an idiot here, I'm just really pissed off.
     
    #1 Contact1111, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
  2. ResidentTheatreKid

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    If you are dependant on them, I wouldn't. If you need them in any way. Because take it from me, you only realise how much you are reliant on your parents when they refuse to support you. Obviously, I don't know how old you are, so your circumstances could be very different to mine. But honestly, parents are not good people to fight with unless you know you can win, or get the fuck out of there.
     
  3. Euler

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    Like I wrote to the other thread, why do you think that pissing off your family would make it any easier to you? Do you really want that they didn't care about you? Ever heard the proverb "You reap what you sow"?

    To me it sounds you got problems bigger than the shock from your parents for you being bi. Why do you demand them to feel certain way? They cannot consciously control how they feel no more than you can control your sexuality. Perhaps they are uncomfortable because they don't like your orientation and based on your common history know that you get angry if you don't get things your way. Cool down and be patient.
     
  4. mbanema

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    Honestly, you've seemed determined to pick a fight with your parents from the very beginning. No, they haven't handled everything perfectly, but I do believe they're trying and you refuse to show them any patience at all. If you're set on being unhappy and want to poison your relationship with your parents then by all means try to hurt them and continue down this path, but it seems foolish to me.

    Sorry to be blunt, but this is about the 50th version of practically the same thread.
     
  5. AKTodd

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    This 110%.

    Looking at the ongoing and common theme in your posts, I have to wonder what else is going on with your parents that you aren't telling us....why is it so important to you that they applaud you, even to the point of allowing you to have sex in their house (which btw most parents of straight people don't want them doing either - so your orientation isn't really an issue here).

    Or else how much of this is you feeling bad about yourself, feeling that you deserve to be treated badly,and trying to force a situation where they treat you the way you think (deep down inside or maybe not so deep) that you deserve to be treated?

    Todd
     
  6. Contact1111

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    Yeah, maybe that's a good point. I guess in a way it might not be that different if I were completely straight in some ways, I just get irritated at the attitude at times. It's not even just the "not under my roof" thing, I just am a little irritated..... plus there have been other things too that have come up over the years that bug me.
     
  7. bookreader

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    I seriously think that you should take a chill pill and be calm. Don't wanna be harsh but you're creating the same thread over and over again. What other advice do you want? I think you should show your parents some respect as they're going through this.
     
  8. itsbrooklyn

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    Although pissing off my parents seems to come naturally to me I probably wouldn't try to annoy them unless your 100% sure you can win, and not knowing your age it's hard to tell how dependant on them you are on them, because being super dependant on them and pissing them off can make things bad for you, maybe you could talk to them about how you feel or if that's not for you tell them not to say things like that , and maybe just try to block out the things they say and not get irritated by it (although that can sometimes be hard)
     
  9. Contact1111

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    To be honest, there are some things I haven't talked about...... and it's just a matter of whether it's any point having them in my life or not. I mean I have talked about it, but I really also haven't talked about a lot of important stuff. I mean, I just am afraid if they knew where I was coming from........ they might want nothing to do with me, and it'd be better off with it being out in the open than being a secret. I'd rather just get the shitshow over with if there is going to be one...... and if not, then I'd definitely be more than willing to respect them and understand their point of view.
     
    #9 Contact1111, Dec 21, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2015
  10. bookreader

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    Why can't you be patient with your parents? I feel like you expect them to accept you right away. That doesn't always happen, you need to give them time. If they don't want to talk about it, so be it. Get over it. Just give them time.
     
  11. Contact1111

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    I don't know..... maybe this is all right. Part of me just feels like there's more coming down the pike so to speak. Sometimes, I wonder if they're putting up a front....... and when the times come things may get much, much worse.
     
  12. Contact1111

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    I just thought it through a little more in a calmer, clearer frame of mind. You know the things that they have said may still generally fall within the range of "accepting"........ depending on why they were said. See, I've thought about it and even the most accepting parents probably feel somewhat "unsettled" when they hear their son likes men or that their daughter likes women......... and the whole saying "not under my roof" thing might not really be particularly uncommon even amongst accepting parents...... I don't know. I've thought that what I need to get to the bottom of is not how unsettled they are about it or if they will stop feeling unsettled, as much as why they feel unsettled. One could be unsettled simply out of something being unknown to them, and that would be a completely normal reaction. Then again, they could also be harboring genuinely negative feelings about it and about me........ I just can't say right now. Well, obviously if that's the case the whole situation would be kind of a toxic one that I'd want to genuinely remove myself from....... and thus I'd have to prepare myself psychologically to be on the outs with them. Then again, I shouldn't jump to the conclusion that they really do feel truly negatively about me. Maybe they are just uncomfortable with something that is foreign and unfamiliar to them. Maybe they don't feel like this makes me less part of the family or on the outs, but they just are unfamiliar with this. Sometime, when everything is completely calm and peaceful, it might be a good idea to try to sort this out with them. I feel like that would be a lot more productive than just trying to irritate them on purpose.
     
    #12 Contact1111, Dec 22, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
  13. Kat 5

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    How about no. Do whatever you are doing under another roof if you have to. Just don't try to get them to deny you basic privilages.
     
  14. Contact1111

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    Yeah, I already decided against trying to piss them off. The thing is now that I've approached it with a level head, like I was saying it would be more important for me to understand why they feel the way that they do........ because being unsettled like this is probably fairly common. It's the why behind it that's more of the issue. I'm probably going to be moving out at some point in the relatively near future anyways, but it will still be important to know why they are unsettled or uncomfortable with this......... so I know what kind of relationship I'd like to have with them. Somebody could be unsettled just because it's something they have no experience with........ or they could be unsettled because they think I'm perverted. They're two totally different types of "unsettled", and that makes a big difference in how I will approach the matter. Also, depending on how that goes I might leave the house in a more immediate sense if I get the sense that there's truly judgment and negative feelings at play rather than just being unfamiliar with something.
     
    #14 Contact1111, Dec 22, 2015
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  15. Filip

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    You know... Parents are just people. They are sometimes unsure to react, just like you and me. And sometimes they might not even be clear on their own feelings. Feelings take time to settle and evolve. Do keep in mind that when we come out, we have had years to let our feelings on the matter evolve, so it's perfectly natural for parents to take more than just a few moments.


    Also, to be perfect, they'd need to be mindreaders. To bring it up exactly when you want it and in the way that you want it (and probably avoid it when you have other stuff to do). That's just too much to ask of anyone.


    And finally, there's some mental boundaries that are always hard. They don't announce when they're having sex, or to cheer outside their bedroom. In fact, as their child you probably find it rather unsettling to think about that part of their lives in much detail. Just so do they probably find it hard to think of that part of your life. And would feel the same way if you were straight. So don't expect them to be MORE accepting than if you were straight either. True parental acceptance isn't about telling your kids you're OK with their sex life.



    Don't get me wrong here. I'm not saying they're right and you're wrong. I'm sure you have some very legitimate differences with them.

    But on the other hand: you spent your entire life worrying what your parents would do if they found out you weren't straight. You spent some time preparing for "what if they throw me out and disown me?"
    And that didn't happen. And after prepaing for it, the sky NOT falling can seem weird.

    But don't get stuck in believeing that it'll happen at some point and that everything good happening is an illusion. If you're going to keep spoiling for a fight, a fight will happen, but that's because you're spoiling for it, not because it was inevitable.
    It seems like they're trying their best at being both accepting AND being parents AND somewhat keeping check of their own household.



    My own mom was not too happy when I came out. In fact, for years we didn't ever even talk about it. And I guess I could have taken this as a bad thing.

    But I didn't.

    Instead of looking for ever more vocal acceptance, I just lived my life. I didn't ask her how she would react to some hypothetical boyfriend. I just waited until I had one and took him over one day.
    And when she saw it wasn't some ultimate stereotype but a real, breathing, perfectly normal guy, it seems she lost most of her misgivings. She even asks me about him at least once a day, now.

    So at some point, words won't help you. You just have to live your life and show you're the same guy. And give them the chance to show they accept you, rather than going into ever more elaborate shows of acceptance. Don't get lost in this back-and-forth. Take their acceptance as it is right now, and work in finding a job, getting your own place, and meeting new friends!
     
  16. Contact1111

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    It could be similar to what you said, but it's uncertain as to why they are unsettled. Keep in mind that my family has a history of touting things in terms of "right" and "wrong", and they always say that they "stand by their values" and things of the sort........ in essence, fairly moralistically minded people. That's why I was scared to come out to them, because I was uncertain, yet afraid that this would be one of the things they disagree with "morally". I'm wondering if their current state of being unsettled is really just a muted form of the moral panic and outright disgust that I was anticipating......... or if they are genuinely wanting to accept me, but struggling to some extent with something unfamiliar. It sounds like with you, the situation was the latter....... simply some concerns and fear of the unknown. With me, I don't know it could be that....... or it could be that they somehow have some sort of "moral" disagreement...... and they are just trying to contain themselves from flipping out on me.