Now that I calmed down...... and took bookreader's advice on another one of my posts pretty literally about "take a chill pill". I didn't take any crazy drugs or anything, just 10 mg of melatonin...... usually calms me down though when I'm agitated and anxious. Plus, I found some jobs in my area to look for that would be use my college degree. Anyways, I got to thinking about my parents saying that "they don't want me doing this stuff under their roof" and that they feel "unsettled" about it............ but they are saying that they love and support me regardless and that they'll always stick by me. I originally was just angry about it, but now I thought about it some more. I realized that even fully accepting parents probably feel "unsettled" when they learn that their son or daughter is gay or bisexual. The whole "don't be doing this stuff under my roof" could even be common in accepting families too, I don't know though. I feel like there are a myriad of reasons why someone could feel "unsettled" or somewhat uncomfortable about it ranging from simply unfamiliarity with the unknown all the way to moralistic disgust and hostility (I do not believe that I am dealing with the latter, luckily). So, I feel like it would be good to have a sense of why they are unsettled........ if it is unfamiliarity with something unknown, maybe some concern.......... or if it is something deeper and more insidious than that....... not that I'd really have a huge amount of reason to think that, I just am uncertain not knowing more specifics behind the why. I feel like it is important, because the reasoning behind it affects the kind of relationship I'd like to have with them. Emotionally speaking, I have grown up with them........ and truly distancing myself emotionally and making contact a somewhat rare event would be something I would need to psychologically prepare for ahead of time. I've been away at school before and lived on my own there, but we were still close and would talk a lot on the phone and stuff. If I know that I'm not going to have to do that, then I wouldn't need to mentally prepare myself for that scenario and would be able to say that things went relatively well with them. I feel like the why behind this would be what determines whether or not I need to distance myself, because all parents probably feel kind of unsettled when they hear that their son or daughter is this way.
