Hold on or let go, friends after dating

So there's these two guys, S and K, who I've recently went out on dates and have talked to and after some time both say (along with other things) that they see me as more of a friend. Thing is I've dated them and have feelings and I'm having a hard time being unbiased and making the right decision of what's best for me because I don't have a lot of friends.

I met S over the summer on *that* app and he messaged me and seemed funny and interesting. Honestly an over all good catch (good looks, fit, smart, nerdy, has a job etc.) We went out to eat a few times and I thought we hit it off really well. Then he starts not replying as usual, a week or two goes by and he says he didn't like how I was so forthcoming with my sleeping habits (and yet he jokes constantly about racking up guys and his own sex stories) and he thought of me as more of a friend. I was fine with that until I realized he was also talking to someone else while talking to me and basically went with them. I'm fine with that because I like to see get a few potentials and see them and whittle down the numbers as times goes on but what irked me was that this guy was basically me but worse. S would complain about him to me from time to time which ticked me off along with him contradicting himself. Eventually they broke it off end of the summer and I went back to college, I tried to keep in contact but I sent a few texts early November and I didn't get a reply until I sent another text in mid-December. We are planning to hang out weekend after next for new years because he wants to take me out to meet people but he's already seeing someone else (and he uses the term bf which he didn't use with the other guy) and that I probably can't stay the night because he'll want to "have loud sex with them" which is annoying since I'll probably be getting plastered and don't want to drive more for safeties sake, and annoying since I still have feelings. So at this point I'm just thinking that having to be the initiator with him and having feelings is just not a good thing and that I should tell him what's up and say goodbye and drop him.


I met K on the same app on my birthday in August (also the first day of classes) and though it was long distance we manged to talk everyday and meet up twice to hang out. Then all of a sudden he starts giving me one word answers or not talking at all come late November. I asked him what was wrong and he said it was just finals getting to him (he also works full time and has depression so I completely understood) but he (in fact both these guys) wouldn't go into details or let me help in any way. I did what I coukd to be supportive, I sent encouraging messages for him to read, asked how he was doing, or if it sounded he had a rough day I'd ask what was wrong or if he wanted to talk. He appreciated the effort and at this point it's been a while since we have hung out (which was early November and that was cut extremely short because one of his best friends needed him for an emergency, he asked me if I wanted him to stay or go) and that he'll see me soon after finals. Finals ends and he doesn't bounce back to how he was asking before and finally I put my foot down and said that we needed to talk because something was up. Apparently soon after he met me he met another person that was close to him and that he thought of me as more of a friend and that he was going with this other guy. I felt relieved finally because I was stressing so much for him and whatever we had it felt like a weight was lifted, but obviously upset about the outcome. I told him that we can try to be friends but that even though I feel better I still need time away from him.

2 weeks have gone by since that point and here I am, trying to move on and still stuck being "friends" with these two. I'm trying to just do my own thing but I'm incredibly lonely and some days it gets to me that I don't have any good friends and the ones I do are constantly busy and can only really chat occasionally on social media.

I have a track record of not getting any replies on my threads so I think I'm just going to not talk to them and minimize as much contact as I can with them and just move on. I'll probably just skim over with S why I can't go downtown with him.

 

I don't have feelings for K anymore, he's out of sight and out of mind and I've already talked to him, so ball is in his court. It's mostly S that's the problem, or my problem with S more accurately put. I don't know why but I still have a crush on him. And I'm trying to tight through it but it's proving difficult.

 

I've pretty much put both of then away neatly on the shelf. If K wants to talk that's fine, he's got shit to do and so do I.

I told S what needed to be said and as usual didn't seem to have any sort of reaction. So I said if wanted to do something over the summer to then hit me up but right now I'm not messing with him.

So out of site, out of mind. I'll get completely over it eventually. Neither of them we're a good fit to begin with, no need to try and force it.