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Where and how to make friends and meet people

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by stumble along, Dec 23, 2015.

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  1. stumble along

    stumble along
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    I've basically been conditioned all my life to just not make close attachments to anyone, since I was constantly moving firm state to state as a kid (no my parents aren't military, it's my dad's job that caused the moving.) I also have been diagnosed with moderate social anxiety (even going to the movies for star wars triggered a panic attack) so I am a bit awkward and can get extremely bugged out in new social situations (gyms are probably the worst place for me, I'll only go if I'm going with a friend.)

    But I'm trying to turn a new leaf and get out there more, preferably to meet potential new friends or other lgbt people. I'm always either at my parents house near Atlanta (about 40 minutes away with normal traffic) or at college in South Carolina. I'm planning on meeting with a doctor to get some kind of medication for the anxiety (I've had Xanax before and it worked, I used it when I knew I'd be in a bad situation and always had one or two pills on me in case I ended up in a bad situation) so that should help take the edge off. I'm still at a loss as to how to go about meeting new people though, since I don't see my friends often enough to get to know their friends. I really think the answer to my own problem is to just suck it up and go to places I want to go to (rock climbing, boxing, clubs/bars, archery ranges, etc.) And meet people that way, I guess I'm alittle scared to the whole queer thing. I play a card game (magic) and I frequent a game store and have gotten to know the regulars but they sometimes say a lot of homophobic or sexist stuff and it makes me weary to come out to them. I guess I don't have to, I told one of them I was bi (it's just easier tbh I don't need or want to explain what pansexual is)

    I don't know, this is a mess, I'll end up looking up gay specific clubs and leagues as time goes on, I'll just suck it up and dope up a little so I stay calm haha.
     
    #1 stumble along, Dec 23, 2015
  2. Euler

    Euler
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    Although it is good you are meeting a doctor and getting medication, I don't think it is enough. Medication typically takes away the worst symptoms but does nothing to address the underlying problem or whatever is causing your anxiety. Would you consider meeting a psychologist and discuss your social anxiety with them? I think your university probably has one who you can meet at affordable rates.

    I would say it is difficult to make new friends if you are so anxious that that even going to movies can cause a panic attack. It's not helpful to meet new people if you cannot really interact with them because of anxiety. Perhaps there is a support group for people suffering from similar problems (a bit like AA) where you could meet new people, get practice and perhaps make new friends.
     
    #2 Euler, Dec 25, 2015
  3. stumble along

    stumble along
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    I am seeing a social worker at hone and a psychologist on campus so it is being worked on, slowly. I'm extroverted so sometimes I'll just get drained being social for too long, sometimes I can go the whole day, sometimes I can only handle a few hours, it depends.

    And I'll have to make a correction, I have both anxiety and panic attacks and at the movies it was a anxiety attack.

    I also might not be coming back for next semester due to having to medically withdraw from the last one and having problems for the past few semesters. My parents are uncomfortable with helping me at this point (which I understand) so I'm trying to put everything together and take responsibility for the first time, I think that when they see the effort they'll help me out a little bit but I want to take the brunt of it. So my social situation would definitely change if I go back or not.
     
    #3 stumble along, Dec 25, 2015
  4. Euler

    Euler
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    I think a support group might be a good place to start since if you suffer an attack people will be supportive and understanding and you don't have to stress about the situation so much. You can find a support group close to you this site or just use google.

    Support Groups | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA
     
    #4 Euler, Dec 25, 2015
  5. PatrickPH

    PatrickPH
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    Benzodiazepines like Xanax are very effective to control symptoms of anxiety fast, but shouldn't be used regularly for anxiety disorder. They are known to cause addiction and reduce cognition. You should consider with your doctor starting an SSRI such as citalopram or sertraline (taken once daily regularly) for better maintenance control of your anxiety, then Xanax will not be needed regularly (ideally not more than 2-3 times a week).
    (yes, sertraline and citalopram are antidepressants, but they are used at lower doses to control anxiety)
     
    #5 PatrickPH, Dec 25, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2015
  6. stumble along

    stumble along
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    I was on citalopram as a double duty for anxiety and depression, all it did was give me the energy to feel worse.

    My school has group sessions, maybe I'll look into those. Another thing to potentially consider is that I also was diagnosed with body dysphoria (sp) which also might play into my problems
     
    #6 stumble along, Dec 26, 2015
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