I'm sorry but I don't write English well because it's not my language, so you don't have any problems to correct me! Now I need an advice: I'm lesbian and I have a girlfriend for 3 and half years. My mum Knows of me but she doesn't happy. My sister always has doubts about her sexuality. At the beginning she thought to love boys but she didn't like anyone of them, and she thought that she was jealous with some her friends and she could be lesbian. And she went through her teenager years fell in love with girls because she said that with the girls she felt herself more male, with control and it's easier than boys. And in these period she hated all boys and also my father. One day she fell in love with a man and she changed her ideas of the men but the story finished and she said that she wanted to get lesbian. So she fell in love with a woman but she didn't know the meaning of love and attraction. My question is: Who she is? She doesn't define herself, she doesn't know e she goes with the person who she finds. But is this normal? And my acceptation is destroyed because two daughters is impossibile for parents! But she doesn't get this difficult situation. She's never anyone and now she has someone and she's happy. But i'm not sure she's lesbian and she real fall in love with women. Thank you very much
She is probably bi, leaning more towards women ( as in she likes both but is more into women than men). I can't label your sister for her though. I think you need to separate your own journey from hers. You are two different people, and while I know it's annoying for someone to pretend to be a lesbian to then see her keep having relationship with guy, you can't control her life, you can yours though. It doesn't matter if your parents can't deal with two lesbians daughter. When you make children you chose to love them regardless of the sexuality they may evolve in. If they are homophobic it won't be easy, but no reason for you to live in the closet permanently in fear of hurting them. If they love you they will support you regardless of their initial ideas, if they don't you are better off without them, trust me.
Thank you! But I don't know, I think that her ideas are confused and I want to question that another people throught same situation. Because it's not normal that she told me she wanted to stay with a man in future, she wanted to have a family and children with a man. She couldn't fell in love with women if she hadn't attraction for them. And I know that we have two different life but it's difficult destroyed our family with this thing, and she wants to say all to my mother but I don't want because she lives alone but I live with my parent and I need to be free in my house, without war. But she doesn't understand me. And I'm sorry but I hope that she knows herself and loves men forever, because decide to be lesbian for comfort, for fell powerful, it's not normal.
How old are you and your sister? If you want to be free in your house, maybe you should consider moving out from your parents. As Linning said, maybe your sister is bisexual or something else, and you can't control how she feels. You can ask her to not talk to your parents, but she may not agree, and you have to accept it's her decision.
I'm 23 and my sister 27. It's difficult to live alone, I study and I don't have a real work, maybe in other country when a guy has 23 years old, is possible work. In my country all my friends depend on their parents, it's a difficult country for young people. And I know, but we are a family and she has to consider me and the consequences, because also the parents need help with coming out. And she can't make coming out and leaves me in the war with our parent. And I think that it's important to understand the identity before speak with other people. If she doesn't know who she is and if she wants a man or woman, she has to think before to speak. This is respect for oneself and for other people!
