Hi, i am a bit in a struggle right now....maybe someone can help me? In short, i came out a year ago, at the age of 37.prior, i was dating girls but never really open for love. a year later..ia m..comfortable with myself and open for a relationship. I ve never ever thought i could be in this place...out of the closet and open for a relationship with a guy. I ve overcome a lot in that perspective My problem is, i dont know how to pick up from here...all my friends are straight and i feel a bit shy or awkward maybe ,to go to a gay bar myself..i hate myself for that and puts a lot of pressure on me..i ve wasted already to much time..i am afraid of feeling awkward and not confident when i am in a bar. I am afraid they will judge me on my appearance. I am not an ugly guy but i have my Flaws.. Is there any one who can relate to my situation and have some ideas how to handle this? Thanks Jerry
Hi There!! I just recently posted something that included information that could apply to your situation as well. So going to copy it over here (and tweak it a bit) for your consideration: Let's see here...advice, advice. In no particular order: 1) I would suggest that you consider checking out the following resources in your area: a) The local LGBT community center - Go there and you should be able to talk to someone about local events, resources, groups, sports teams, volunteering opportunities (why yes, I think you should consider volunteering there - how did you read my mind like that?), etc. etc. They may even have some counselors and the like available. b) Meetup.com - Meetup is sort of a social grouping/networking/events site for all kinds of people, including LGBT people. Depending on where you are, you may find LGBT game nights, hiking/biking/running groups, singles groups, friends groups, going out to restaurants groups, professional groups etc. etc. c) General online searching around 'LGBT resources in <your city/area>' can also be useful. The community center will probably have a lot of information, but may not have everything. So it doesn't hurt to do some additional online research. d) If you are still of a religious/spiritual turn of mind, you might look into local LGBT friendly denominations. The Episcopal Church and Unitarian Universalists and perhaps best known, but there are a number of others as well. e) Gay Men's Chorus - Do you like to sing? f) Prime Timers - My husband and I are part of the local chapter of this group in Norfolk. I'm sure every chapter is a bit different, but they are a fun way of getting together with other gay guys for conversation, a guest speaker, and some birthday cake each month They also do a Thanksgiving and a Christmas potluck as well as occasional day trips to various locations ranging from parks to museums and a booth at Pride. Again, every chapter is probably different, but based on our local chapter, you may be one of the youngest guys there. Treat it as an opportunity to meet some interesting people and perhaps learn about how things used to be for us in the past. Note also - it's a group of guys regardless of orientation, so some locker room humor may be heard. g) Pride - this might be more of a journeyman or 'advanced' level activity for you - but going to Pride can be quite the liberating thing. You may see some things there that are new and a little uncomfortable for you - but you will see a situation in which a huge number of LGBT people of all kinds and from all walks in life are all together and having a good time. Not to mention the sensation when you realize that 'we are the MAJORITY in this situation' for the first time. Hope this helps, Todd
