1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Was i right in this situation?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MerBear, Jan 1, 2016.

  1. MerBear

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2012
    Messages:
    3,056
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    east coast
    Okay so me and my ex girlfriend broke up on my monday. before we broke up, we had all these fun times together. she said the sweetest things to me. in the beginning, i told her i was scared of being hurt, and everything since i still didn't trust anyone after getting my heart broken 4 years ago, and she said

    "everything will be okay, i know you're scared and so am i but i want to hopefully make good memories with you, i want to hold you when you're having a panic attack, and wipe away your tears, I know you've been walked over time and time again, but i want to change that. i wont hurt you. i promise, i only want to help you"

    and so finally, i trusted her and we had good times together even though it didn't last long. when i had my panic attacks, she would hold me and say it was going to be okay, and it felt really nice. we went out to eat together, we listened to her favourite band together, and we had a lot of good times together but Monday, she told me that she couldn't force her feelings anymore, and that i should find someone who genuinely feels the way i do. and later said she just couldn't connect with me, and even though i was upset about the whole thing, i understood, and so later i asked if she wanted to stay friends, and she kept ignoring me, so i finally left her alone for a day, and sent a long message explaining how i wanted to stay friends with her because i wanted to be there for her. and she said she wanted to stay friends and still talk to me but to give her a few days, and so i left her alone...and last night, i was upset...so i just drove somewhere and realized that i near where she lived, and i sat in the parking lot and saw a post she made about so sad, and wanting to die...so i messaged her saying i was in the area, and saying if she needed someone, i was there for her and she said "people are home. you need to leave, if you don't leave ..i'm calling the cops" , and i just was so hurt and confused because i was only trying to be there for her, and so i told her i was only trying to be there for her because she seemed like she needed someone..

    and then she texted back "okay, but i dont want to be with you, so why are you texting me?" and finally i got pissed because i was only trying to be a good person to her. i was only trying to be a friend, and she was just thinking i was trying to get back with her which wasn't the case. i had fully respected she didn't want to be with me, and of course i had explained and she said

    "you barely know me, we talked for a month, so i don't understand why you're so upset over us breaking up, just leave me alone"

    and at that point, i was done with her. i told her i was done trying to explain, i just wanted to be a good friend to her, and be there for her when she was down. i told her that maybe the memories didn't mean anything to her, but the memories meant something to me even if they weren't long. i told her i liked the times we had together and that of course, i'm going to be a little upset. i said that i didn't deserve to be treated the way she was treating me. and i told her that she'll learn to respect people who give their all when they dont have to. i gave her all the trust i held back for four years because she reassured me she wasn't going to hurt me, and that was the first time anyone has ever promised not to hurt me, and i trusted her even more when she was there for me, and told me to my face that i meant something to her, and i make her happy when that wasn't the truth at all. i blocked her on every single account, deleted her number, and all the pictures of us together, and the screenshots i had kept that said she was so happy that i was in her life, and that i make her happy.

    i was only trying to be there for her, and that was what i got. i didn't deserve that, i don't think. whether she's upset or not, i personally think it was rude to treat me the way she did.

    was i right in this situation?
     
  2. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,579
    Likes Received:
    753
    Location:
    BC
    I don't think you were wrong but I don't think she was wrong, either. Everyone has different ways of dealing with these things. She may honestly need a complete break to get over you, time to heal and get herself back together. A hard break vs your soft break, so to speak.

    See it from her point of view and how continued contact was worse than no contact. Even just a little. It's good you deleted her. Just let her be. Maybe in the future you can be friends but, for now, just take care of yourself.
     
  3. MerBear

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2012
    Messages:
    3,056
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    east coast
    She clearly didn't care about me if she was the one to say "I don't want to be with you, why are you texting me?" I had put forth so much effort. I had given more than enough space. And she handled in a way that I personally don't think nessesary

    ---------- Post added 1st Jan 2016 at 02:47 PM ----------

    I had given her a lot space believe me

    ---------- Post added 1st Jan 2016 at 02:52 PM ----------

    And not to mention. She said she was sad and wanted to die and all I said was "I'm in the area if you need someone"
     
  4. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,579
    Likes Received:
    753
    Location:
    BC
    Well, you tried. You can't do any more than that.
     
  5. MerBear

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2012
    Messages:
    3,056
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    east coast
    Exactly but that just made mad the way she came at me but I blocked her and it's over and I'm not gonna continue dwelling on it
     
  6. Really

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,579
    Likes Received:
    753
    Location:
    BC
    Good. Just forget about her. If she's not adding value to your life, she doesn't deserve any of your energy.