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What's the deal with this new friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by heythere999, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. heythere999

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    So, let me explain the situation. I'm bisexual, but closeted to all but my close friends.

    However, even though I'm closeted, I don't try to cover it up by acting super macho or anything of the sort. I'm fairly innocent acting, I'm not macho, etc.

    This guy, on the other hand, is tall, buff, has had his fair share of sex, and is quite popular.

    I've only been at the same hangouts with him about three times.

    The second time was New Years day. At first he would say how much he missed me, and I was kind of under the impression that he was joking and actually insulting me until the night went on.

    Any time I wasn't around, he would ask me or someone else to come to where he is.
    He kept hugging me and saying "you're such a great guy," kissed me on the cheek a couple of times, and whenever everyone was salsa dancing he grabbed only my hands and danced with me until he was like "alright this isn't gay at all."

    And then every time someone tried to make fun of me or be mean to me (in a joking, friendly manner though obviously), he would say "Hey, stop being mean to (my name)". He kept saying "I love you so much" and someone pointed out that I'm not saying it back and he said "it's okay."

    And there was a point where I was sort of lying down, not paying attention to the game everyone was playing, and he came up to me and asked me stuff like "Hey, you tired? What's wrong? Long day? etc."

    At one point he was playing beer pong, and all that happened was the ball hit my shoe (aka no harm whatsoever) and he said "oh my god I'm so sorry (my name)"
    And last night, any time I wasn't around him he would ask "where's (my name)? (My name) where are you?"

    He kept just bringing my name up in general for everything; something I noticed.
    There was one point where everyone wanted to play a game but I didn't feel like it so I wanted to go sit outside alone, and he came up to me and started rubbing my back and said "Listen, I'm going to talk to you in my soothing voice, okay?" And basically tried convincing me to come play the game with him. Then he was like "I would kiss you right now but mumblemumble" and I said "what?" And I didn't get a response, and he was like "nothing, nothing."

    And then I noticed they weren't playing the game, so I went outside and sat. I was alone; he peeked his head through the door and saw me and said "actually I think I'm gonna come outside" and sat next to me and shared a blanket and tried to strike a conversation with me. And beforehand, he would ask me how my day was, how I am, etc.

    And today and yesterday he kept being touchy with me, and any time I attempted to move away from him when we had contact he would just move closer.

    And when we were saying goodbye, it was pretty awkward. It was obvious that I wanted a short, impersonal hug, and he wanted something long and intimate. And then after we let go we just said no words to each other.

    Okay, look, I get it. I've had many guy friends in my life, but... I don't get it when people act like this. And I appreciate the nice behavior, but... what is this?
    And it just makes me uncomfortable and suspicious. What could he want from me?

    We've only seen each other three times and I'm nothing like him, I'm not a macho "bro" kind of dude, I'm popular but not as popular as him... I don't get it at all. So I've been acting cold to protect myself.


    Could someone enlighten me?
     
  2. bookreader

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    Wow. I so wanna be in your shoes. He sounds like a nice guy that wants to get to know you. Is he gay? Probably. Is he straight? Probably. Who knows? I would just enjoy the attention, I guess.
     
  3. DragCloset1

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    In the end it probably doesn't matter what he's trying to do, he may have just been drunk and touchy or he may be bisexual, queer etc. Give it time and not that much attention and it will probably be fine. If he wants to pursue a relationship or hookup while sober that's different.
    Hope I could help!
     
  4. treasure1996

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    He's interested in you... a lot. That's what it seems like to me, I mean he wants to be around you all the time and even said he would kiss you but ...
    Also just because he is macho and quite masculine doesn't mean you have to be like that in order for him to like you or be interested. People like who they like!
    If you like him go for it!!