Need Some Help

Hi,

I'm in 11th grade in high school and I found out I was gay about 2 months ago. For all my life, I've never been able to make friends. I've always been alone. But now more than ever, I really needed a friend to talk to. The thing is, I'm really socially awkward and have no idea how to make friends. I mean, I have one friend, but he only talks to me because I write his English papers for him. I made a previous post about something that happened to me when I tried to make friends with an openly gay kid at my school and how that failed miserably. But I feel like there's something wrong with me—I mean, how hard is it to make a friend? Just someone to talk to? If a gay kid rejected me, how will anyone be willing to help me? He had the power to completely make a difference for me. I just feel so hopeless and lost, and I really don't know what to do, if that makes sense. I'm really good at subconsciously convincing myself that I'm ok and I don't really feel much pain at the whole situations but I can't keep holding it in—I feel like all the sadness and loneliness from my whole life is spilling out of me, compounded by the fact that I now know I'm gay. I really wish there was a way to fix all of this and live normally...