I feel like I have disappointed my father. About 30 mins ago, I heard my dad talking about how i have not been depending on him too much. he was also talking about my younger sister. i am 19. i still dont have a drivers license. i still depend on my parents a lot. soon, i will have to depend on myself. i am going to have to grow up. im feeling bad about myself right now. i cant support myself financially. i live with my parents. right now, i go to a community college. im still immature. i still lack confidence. i am feeling lost in my life. my life isn't extremely hard. but i am very spoiled and i think that causes me to be dependent on my parents. also, i have been dealing with stress and anxiety about having HIV. to make a long story short, i was worried about blood-to-blood contact, or contact with mucous membranes. i took 7 HIV tests, which have all came out negative. i took 5 blood tests at 17 weeks, 23 weeks, 26 weeks, 27 weeks, and 30 weeks. i took 2 oral swab tests at 34 weeks and 37 weeks. every single test that i listed came out negative. i am a hypochondriac. i worry to an abnormal extent about certain things that could be happening in my body. i wish my anxiety would go away. i wish life would go back to being on track. 2015 was a horrible year for me too. i had a horrible semester in the fall of 2015. i really need encouragement. i need someone to ease my mind. i am feeling bad about myself. i feel lost in life right now.
Hello, I'm really sorry that you're feeling this way. I understand what it's like to feel like you're depending on your parents too much. I'm 22 (almost 23), still living with my parents, and I attended a community college. I've finished my courses and am currently looking for work, however. Do you have specific goals in mind to help yourself become more independent? I know you're already attending a community college, but do you have a specific certificate/degree/transfer degree in mind? Give yourself goals to reach (small and big ones), and keep on working to meet them. As long as you're pushing yourself closer and closer to being independent, you won't have any reason to feel like you're helpless. As for you being a hypochondriac, is there a reason why you feel like you have HIV? Did you have sex with an HIV-positive person, or did anything that would put you at risk for HIV? I feel like 7 tests is an awful lot of tests, and having them all be negative is a good thing. Don't waste your energy on things that you cannot change - you have enough stress to worry about. Take a deep breath! Sit yourself down, relax, think about your future. Also, it may help to let your parents know what your plans are. It'll be reassuring for them, and you, and you all can work together to achieve your goals. Good luck!
I have not made goals in quite a while. I am planning on being more honest (irrevelant) and I want to do a better job the next semester. I didn't put forth my best effort last semester. At this moment, I am taking Communication as my major. Thank you for the story and the advice. ---------- Post added 6th Jan 2016 at 06:12 AM ---------- As for you being a hypochondriac, is there a reason why you feel like you have HIV? In terms of being a hypochondriac, there were a few reasons why I felt I could have had HIV. I was worried if I caught blood from an HIV-positive person, or they had AIDS, from shaking their hands. I am still a virgin. I do not inject drugs. I was also worried that I could have caught something that had HIV in it with my mucous membranes. Even with those tests being negative and especially being negative after 17 weeks, or 3 months. The window period for HIV testing is usually 3 months for the majority of people. I took the first HIV test at 17 weeks, which I think is over 3 months. It was a blood test. I took several more, blood tests and oral swab tests, which all have came out as negative. I heard the window period is 6 months for someone who has other illnesses or a destroyed immune system. I don't think I have a destroyed immune system. Did you have sex with an HIV-positive person, or did anything that would put you at risk for HIV? No.I never had sex and I've never shared needles.
