Is it already the time to stop waiting for him?

I'm going through the same thing. Me and my female best friend both had a crush on one of our other friends. Ive had this crush on him even before I knew her.

So a year later it turned out they were having a secret relationship for like a month. I was heartbroken, but I felt really happy for them, because he's straight and I'll never get the chance to date him. I did get mad that she didnt tell, because I wouldnt mind at all. She told me she didnt want to hurt my feelings. a few months later, they broke up, because someone we knew was on their ass 24/7. I was feeling really sad for them but was slightly relieved at the same time.

The guy I have a crush on, knows I have a crush on him, but he doesnt mind and doesnt think any different from me. I told everyone I had a new crush so they wouldnt think about it anymore. Truth be told, the crush got so worse that.

I started thiking about us two in a relationship. After that, I realised it was impossible, which made me sad every time this happened. The truth is, you think he's bi/gay because you hope so. I had that problem every time i saw/thought about him. So a few days ago, my friend admitted she had sex with him. She always told me they only made out and hugged. I wanted to believe her eventhough its obvious there was more to it.

When she admitted it to me, I was so depressed I started to cry the minute I was finally alone. I felt teribble. It's not their fault, because its just what people in relationships do. My problem was, that I wanted to be with him so badly, and got so jealous when my best friend started dating him and ended up having sex. Another reason was that the crush and I became really close which made my crush bigger then before. Because of this reality check, I'm feeling better. I am going to tell him the entire story though. I'm still friends with both of them, and am getting over it.

sorry for the long story, just wanted to share my experience in case it might help you. What I would do is try to accept he might not be bi, and let him date with the girl he's into. you still be friends with eachother afterall.

 

SORRY IGNORE THE PREVIOUS ONE.

i noticed i made alot of grammar and spelling mistakes n stuff, so here's the beter version!:

I tried to get rid of it actually.

Me and my female best friend both had a crush on one of our other good friends. Ive had this crush on him even years before I knew her. But that's not an excuse haha.

I told her I had a crush on him and thougth he was handsome and really cute. she agreed and she told me she kinda liked him too.

So a year later it turned out they were having a secret relationship for like a month (this happened in the summer vacation of 2015) . I was heartbroken, but I felt really happy for them, because he's straight and I'll never get the chance to date him. Also, they fit together really well, and it was so cute. I did get a bit mad that she didnt tell, because I wouldnt mind it at all. She told me she didnt want to hurt my feelings. A few months later they broke up, because someone else in our group of friends was on their ass 24/7. He wanted to know everything they did and wanted to like force them to get closer and randomly showing up at my best friends house while her bf was there too. I was feeling really sad for them but was slightly relieved at the same time (I know, selfish).

The guy I have a crush on, knows I have a crush on him, but he doesnt mind and doesnt think any different from me, which I'm really happy about. I told everyone I had a new crush so they wouldnt think about it anymore. Truth be told, the crush got so, so, soooo much worse than that.

All the time, I started thinking about the idea of us two in a relationship and how it would be. After I did, I realised it was impossible, because he's like super straight. It made me sad every time this happened. Here's the truth that everyone in the same situation will eventually eknowledge. You think he/she is bi/gay/a lesbian because you want to think and believe it's true. I have that problem every time I see/think about him. So a few days ago, my friend admitted she had sex with him. We always talked about her relationship and she always told me they only made out and hugged. I wanted to believe they only kissed eventhough its really obvious there's always more to it.

She actually didnt want to tell me, because she knew how much it would hurt me. When she admitted it to me, I was broken. I felt terrible and so bad about myself and all the times I would wish he was attracted to me. I got so depressed that I started to cry the second I was finally alone in my room. It's not their fault, because it's just what people in relationships do. My problem was, that I wanted to be with him so badly, and got so jealous when my best friend started dating him. When I started to get over the first, little crush, he and I got really close friends and really started to like him. Then I suddenly found out that the did more then kiss and ended up having sex. Because of this "reality check", I'm feeling a bit better. I am going to tell him the entire story though. I'm still friends with both of them, and I am getting over it a bit every day. I know if and when I get the chance to tell all about it, I'll start crying after the first sentence. The worst thing is, that I can't talk about everything, because he would get mad at my friend for telling me.

Sorry for the long story,

 

Just accept the fact that he likes a girl and write him off as a potential problem.

 

You know, even if he is bisexual, that doesn't necessarily mean he is into you. Being into dudes doesn't mean being into ALL dudes. If he had a romantic interest in you, I don't think he would be making advances on your other friend in front of you (or at all). I agree with bookreader and resu, write him off and move on—emotionally at least, since you can't avoid him. If you find it impossible to stop thinking about him like that, maybe ask to be transferred and establish some distance between you two until you're over him?

 

It does take time, but you'll be over him and crushing on another guy. Crushes don't last forever.

 

I know so well how you feel man. I know exactly how it is. I know it hurts like shit and it makes you feel like shit and like all people are shit. The worst part is you're powerless to do anything about it because it's not in your power to change his attraction or orientation, and yet it feels so personal anyway, huh?

Here's the bad news: It's going to hurt a lot. Often. A lot and often. More and more often in the beginning. It will keep hurting and you will be tempted to suppress your feelings. If you do, they will resurface later in a different form. If you don't, well, then you have to deal with them head on.

Here's the good news: It won't hurt forever. You can turn the pain to motivation to find a way to love yourself better. Your most important friend in this situation is yourself. Be kind to yourself. Stop negative thoughts that blame you or want you to take it personally. He can't help how he feels and neither can you. You will get through this. It will pass and something and someone new will come your way.

I feel like I'm in a similar situation to you although I'm not completely sure. I try to motivate myself with inspirational poetry and movies and stuff, thinking I won't let this kill me or my relationship to my job, which I absolutely love. Preserving dignity in the middle of it all, now that's the real challenge.

I figure, we're in a no-win situation. We can't do anything about it except protect ourselves and our relationships to our jobs. In my case, I think I'm ultimately dodging a big bullet.

 

The answer to the question is it time to stop waiting is usually yes. It's heartbreaking, but true. Don't wait.

 

Any updates?

 

Aw, I'm sorry. Well, that was the nail in the coffin. You should distance yourself away from him.

 

I'm sorry to hear that and hope ye remain friends. Well anyway be proud of what you achieved.

Good Luck,
Gay1234