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Crushing over someone but unsure if he likes back

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Counting Stars, Jan 10, 2016.

  1. Counting Stars

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    I'm a Malaysian Chinese. Now living in Sydney
    So I have a crush on one of my bisexual friends. We aren't really that close. We knew each other 2 months ago, and I only met him on New Years eve. And since then I have had 2 other meetups with him and other of his friends. Which is why I don't feel right having such deep feelings for him. He always sends me mixed signals, so sometimes I feel happy but other times I feel crappy. I can never know if he likes me back if I don't tell him that I do. So these are some of the signals he gave.

    Signals that may prove he likes me:

    1. He is usually a very outgoing, friendly person when going out with his mates, and likes talking to strangers. But when only the two of us hung out alone, he would get more quiet than usual and we seldom make eye contact.

    2. Then after that, I thought he might think I'm a boring person since we didn't talk much. In usual cases, he won't ask me out again. But he did, for the 2nd time, and THE 3RD TIME. He has so many close friends, I'm pretty sure he can ask any of them out, but he asked me: a quiet guy??

    3. Even though we don't talk much in person, while texting we actually talk a lot. And he is always the one who asks me out. And always the one who pops out and say hi or good morning first.

    4. He loves to sweet talk. I'm not sure if he does this to everyone else too, but he likes to say really nice things to me.

    Signals that prove NOT:

    1. I asked him about his love life and he said he's single and is loving it. He said its good to not be heartbroken.

    2. Although he is always the one who texts me first, when I do reply, it takes him EXTREMELY LONG to reply again. So that means, a really short conversation can take up to a day of texting. But he's not really busy, he is always online. So either he is trying to seem despite, or he just treats me as a friend and is not of main importance.

    3. We were ought to go out for our 4th meetup today at the beach, but he cancelled it last minute because he was tired. Either it was an excuse, or was really tired, or on the bright side, not ready yet.

    4. He just seems really unenthusiastic around me. As I said, if he thought I were too boring to go out with, he wouldn't ask me out again for so many times. So this is a really confusing part of our relationship.

    Like I don't know whether I should wait till I have the courage to tell him, or should I observe him longer, or should I try charming him one day and be more intimate?
    :tears:
     
  2. bookreader

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    I would observe him longer, but don't make it obvious that you're observing him. And if you get tired of the mixed signals, I would sit down and talk to him.
     
  3. Mariana

    Regular Member

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    If you want to be sure, you could just ask a few more direct questions. You said he's happy being single, but you could ask him what he would do if he found someone he likes (would he still rather be single or is he just not actively looking for a relationship at the moment?). I think you could also just ask him out to do more date-like things and see how he reacts. Or tell him that you like him, but I can't really judge if that's a good idea.