Okay so I'm madly in love with this girl, I've know her since she was 14 and 4 long years later I finally go the chance to date her, well I always knew she was bi/pan, but my biggest fear is losing her to a female. That's a huge low blow to my self confidence. I'm madly in love with her like I said, and I'm trying to move on and accept this, but I just have so many questions. I've only ever scene her date men, she's been with one women. Like I don't know if she only dates guys, because her parents don't know, or because it's easier to date a guy than try to find a women like her. I worry that at the first chance the right women comes along she'll be gone.
Sigh. That's the bad part of loving someone. Bi or not. There's always someone better and it's up to your partner if she'll stick with what you two have built or be enamored by the new infatuation and love that someone new brings. This is not a problem of her being bi. It's basically everyone's problem. People say here that when you love, and wants to experience that, you need to risk being hurt and trust your partner more. I am yet to leap into that kind of faith myself but since you're already there, you just have to trust her.
She's helping me with my trust issues and doing a kick ass job, I've been cheated on twice and I'm 20. Like people need to grow up at this age, but still she's helping me threw everything. I don't know if she's just doing it for attention or actually feels this way. She's been with one girl before and said that all the other female did was laugh during sex, and I've literally only seen her date guys since 9th grade, but you never know, it might not be for attention, but a lot of girls I know who were "lesbian, bi, pan" all did it for attention.
Then I guess you have to talk to her. If you're still dating, then this is a good time for you to open up your issues. You're saying she's helping you with your trust issues so I don't see why you can't open up your fears to her. You love this woman. Bi or not. This forum can only give you general advice but there's no way we can determine if she'll go for a woman in the future or not. Only time will tell. And her alone too. So talk with her. Let her know your fears.
I have and we're talking about it, my biggest fear and I've told her this, is that she has never had a romantic relationship with a women before, and I'm worried that's something I can't give her obviously.
Also I would like to add, I'm not trying to say she's not pan, but she's never been in a romantic relationship or romantically talked to a female, she had a rough part in her life where her self esteem was extremely low and she was on different medicine. And I think since her self esteem is still low, she will just accept anyone who will be with. All of her friends are bi/trans/ or gay and she's had many opportunities to be with another gender, but she still only dates men. I'm just confused about this entire situation and it doesn't change the fact that I love her. I'm just confused that she only dates men, but has had many opportunities to date females or transgender people.
Again, this all boils down on your willingness to stay. Will you stay loving a person who has that possibility of loving other people? (All people has this tendency) Or in your case another woman? Or are you willing to fight what you feel and show her how choosing you over anyone is worth it?
