This has been an issue for me even before questioning my gender identity but has now become a thing I think about more often. You notice how a lot of transguys spent most of their time with boys. I thought about myself in the position of a guy a lot and how I would feel being in a guys group.. But the thing is when I see other guys being themselves (a bit wild, a bit stupid (not in a bad way), careless etc) I can't relate. Now, this wouldn't be a problem if I felt different when imagining being friends with girls. I can't relate to neither of these two. I don't care about make up, hairstyles, hot actors or whatever. But at the same time I don't really feel like belonging with the guys. I guess I tend towards being male. I know.. stereotypes. But I like playing video games, soccer and I'm not great at expressing emotions. When I see my friends talking and laughing and being young I feel so uncomfortable and I don't feel like I can just do the same. I don't want to do the same. When there's a free period and everyone is running around, talking to everyone, I mostly just stay by myself and wish I was at home. I'm not bullied or anything. I have a ton of friends and I do like them, but not that much that I want to spent a lot of time with them.. I just feel like I'm not "normal".
First things first, you shouldn't feel like there is a set personality for each gender that you have to confine yourself to, just be you because that is the best thing you can be! I'm a female and I hate all the giggly girly stuff and love video games and books, that's just who I am and my friends accept that. I'm sure your friends will to, your a unique person, with a complex personality and that should never be viewed as a bad thing, so I'm sure they will understand that and as a result you will hopefully feel more comfortable within yourself. I hope this helped a little, but at the end of the day, just be yourself
I get you. I hate a lot of girly things, I do not get excited about hot male actors, I could barely express my emotions if I tried. I wear makeup sometimes for its function but I'm not gonna talk about it. I like video games and such boyish things. But yeah, I totally can't realte to how a lot of guys act together. And girly girls I just do not have much in common with. Just chill and talk to people. Make small talk, bond over humourising daily existance. See who you end up being friends with - you dont have to hang out with guys or girls... just some of each that you actually like individually. You'll probably find those girls who have non-typical interests and those guys who are more expressive. Don't sit around alone if you have a choice, dude. If you really don't feel like you have anything to say to people just hang and contribute to whatever conversation naturally springs up in the group as little as you want. Tbh I'm awful at starting conversation topics I just listen and get involved. And I agree with lulu123. You don't have to conform to anything, and you definitely don't need to choose whether to fit in with the guys or girls. And even though you may not have all the same interests with people doesn't mean you can't be friends. I play video games and listen to Japanese music and play guitar. None of my friends do those things. None of them. That doesn't make any of us uncomfortable with the friendship. Just chill and be you and befreind everyone you want to.
