So there's a school dance coming up for our year group at the end of April, and it's a pretty big event for us. I was thinking of either asking my crush if she'd be my date or to come out to her about my sexuality and my feelings towards her while at the dance. I've loved her for quite some time now and I don't want to keep this from her forever, but I don't know if I should do it. She's one of my best friends so it won't be like asking out a complete stranger. The trouble is that I don't know if she's gay or not and it's difficult to find out because it feels like I'm getting mixed signals. On the one hand she's obsessed with various boybands, talks about how attractive certain male celebrities are and has said a couple of times that she's straight when she was asked. On the other hand she's very supportive of gay rights, is very tactile when showing her affection to other girls, she's never had a crush on any guys as far as I know and even though she's said that she's straight when my friends and I asked her she seemed keen to change the subject. It's been really confusing for the past few months because I can't work out at all if she'd be interested in dating a girl. I also really want to come out to more people. Only my parents and a few close friends know and the secret is starting to put a lot of pressure on me. It's gotten to the point where I've ended up almost blurting it out to people I barely know and I feel like it's unfair to keep this secret from her since we're such good friends. I know that even if she isn't interested she would react gracefully and we could probably even still be friends, but I don't know if I could handle the rejection and I don't want to end up regretting telling her the truth. Plus even if she accepts, I don't know if I'm mature enough to handle a proper relationship and I'm nervous about people finding out at the dance. Rumors and news travel quickly and even though my school is generally pretty accepting, I wouldn't want to be bullied, judged or solely known for my sexuality. I have a friend who came out as gay and he was cyberbullied by people who weren't from our school and even within school he's quite notorious for being gay, and I don't want to be judged or pigeonholed in that way. I don't know. I really love this girl and I want the best for her. I wouldn't want to hurt her or make her feel scared or unsafe. Even if she isn't interested I know that she'll probably be fine with it. I just don't want to make our friendship awkward and I don't know how other people will react if they find out about me. Should I ask her out and if I do, how should I go about it? Is there any way I can find out if she feels the same way about me? Sorry for the long post. Any help on this would be much appreciated. Thanks! :icon_bigg
I think first you should bring up lgbt subjects rights etc just to test the waters and if everything goes okay you could come out to her later on and if things go super well you could share your feelings with her.in my opinion its smart to tread lightly and keep few weeks intervalls between confessions.you wouldnt want to give her an all out bombshell as this tends to scare off people even if they are not entirely straight.
Plus if you do come out to her try do it just you two alone, let that sink in a for a week or so before you admit your feelings for her...... Unless she admits she's gay as well and its going well then you could admit your feelings for her but don't push her to tell her your sexuality its hard enough admitting it to yourself
