I'm so frustrated right now.I typically identified as a top. I love giving myself to another guy, making sure he enjoys himself, pleasuring him, holding him and making him come. I love topping. However every once in awhile I do have the urge to be on the receiving end. I am no expert at bottoming but the few times I've done it I love being manhandled, being taken care of I'm losing myself. This guy I've been seeing for a few months is a complete bottom. He's great we get along very well. for the past two weeks I have been having the urge to bottom and everytime I bring it up he dismisses it. I understand it's not his forte and he may not be fond of topping. I get it. I even offered just for him to help me use his dildo I just really had the urge. he declined. Today however he brought it up and basically berated me wanting to bottom. several times he spat at me saying that I was no longer the masculine guy he met and that no masculine top should ever want to bottom. I tried to explain to him that this is a rare occurrence and that sometimes I too like to enjoy being taken care of. he just didn't seem to get it and we parted ways this morning extremely frustrated with each other. I truly feel that he's being unreasonable. just because I want a dick up my ass every once in awhile or I want another man to own my body doesn't make me feel less masculine, it just feels good. It's as if there will always be the stigma that only feminine guys bottom and masculine guys top and I really feel this stereotype needs to fade away already. Idk. I just not fond of how vicious and angry he was at my request, and I'd love other people's thoughts on this matter.
gosh never heard that from a gay man before last time i checked its straight women who say that to their man but gay men? being angry at their boyfriends for wanting to bottom and being angry because its not masculine GAY MEN !!! GAY MEN !!! ok the best thing you can do is to give your boyfriend a youtube video about stereotypes of gay men and how wrong they are maybe then he might understand
I agree - it is unreasonable. There's no reason why a masculine man should not bottom if he wants to. I'm sorry that you guys had to split, though.
Um. Has this guy never heard of the term 'versatile'? I'm not all that into anal, either topping or bottoming, but I've done both, including being in a three year relationship with a dedicated top who liked sex multiple times a week, and sometimes a day. I've also grown up in Alaska where I helped butcher things, castrate things, dug ditches, hauled feed, etc. I also spent some years doing martial arts, and got to a level where I probably knew half a dozen ways to cripple or kill someone with my bare hands if I had a mind to. While I'm not very mechanically inclined, I know which end of the axe and the hammer to use, thanks. I'm 5'10" and a bit and well over 200lbs and a good fair bit of that is muscle. I've been told I am a somewhat intense Type A personality with a management style that has been summed up as 'do it my way or I'll kill you'. I freely admit to and take pride in being a control freak. My sense is that I come across as a bit intimidating to some. I have at times pinned someone to the wall by their neck as part of expressing my displeasure with their actions. Having a dick up my ass a whole bunch for three years did nothing to change this and your BFs attitude makes no logical sense. Gay or straight, masculine or fem, top or bottom, all guys have a prostate and most like having it stimulated. He needs to get over himself and you may want to consider finding someone who has a more respectful attitude toward your wants and needs. There are plenty of versatile guys, so I'd suggest being honest about what you're looking for and see what develops. My 2c worth, Todd
He's making it a big deal. Like seriously, if you want a dick up your ass, he should do it with no problem at all.
Basically, that guy is saying you and he are not equals (i.e. he is not a top because he is not masculine), and he wants to keep it that way. That kind of objectification is unhealthy because he is only looking out for his own pleasure rather than both of yours. And, unfortunately a lot of gay guys fall for the greater society's stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. But, you shouldn't ever settle for this. You can find guys who are more comfortable with themselves (masculine, feminine, or neither).
What a bitch. It's one thing not to want to top, but to put someone down (and with old-fashioned gendered stereotypes, no less) for not wanting to? I'd kick him to the side of the road, personally, because there is no shortage of bottoms, especially with attitudes. If this were established up-front, it could have potentially been avoided. Communication is pretty key in any sort of relationship. You don't deserve to put up with this abuse.
I think it's clear that he has some self-worth issues. In my two relationships, I've been a bottom in one and a top in the other. I think both are fun and that you should do whatever you want. His reaction was awful and honestly, I would drop him since he doesn't seem to respect you at all.
I'm versatile, but prefer topping. Any gay guy can decide whether he wants a dick up his butt or not. It shouldn't have anything to do with masculinity, period.
He is unreasonable and massively so. His preconceived views on masculinity are archaic and I would fuming if someone tried to put me down the way he did with you for simply wanting to be pleasured by him the way you gladly do for him. I think he is a prick tbh and I would be pretty tempted to dump his ass. It's one thing not to be into something sexually and a whole other one to personally attack and humiliate your partner because he asked to try something new. I think communication is key in a relationship and that some things are deal-breakers. Someone that is not be too much into topping but would accept make the effort for me once in a while would be fine but someone that flat out refuse to do anything I want, stomp his feet and even insult me personally for wanting to bottom would be a massive deal-breaker and would probably be out the door within the seconds and I am a bi chick who hates anal ! :icon_mrgr I think I would send him some links about gay guys being versatile and would wait for his response. If he stays in his old-fashioned views that 'men should be men' he would be shown the door and that would be it for me personally. Good luck though, always shocked to see that even some LGBT members are as close-minded as some anti-gay people.
LOL. I am sorry that this became a deal-breaker to both of you, but yes. I agree with all the posters here. Sigh.
