So the other day I broke up with my boyfriend. Or I should say we broke up with each other. We had a calm rational talk about where our lives were headed and we decided that neither of us were in the right time for a long lasting relationship. I'm starting grad school and feel like I need to experiment with dating a bit more and to see other people. He's getting out of the military soon and is unsure that he will be staying in the area afterwards. He completely understands my thinking, and I honestly believe that this is for the best. The last two weeks I had been gripped with anxiety when thinking about our future. I am sad, but I believe that that's a good thing. We had a lot of good times. The thing is, we want to have more good times. We're best friends and we both know that we want each other in each other's lives. Directly after the break up we went and got Chipotle and then watched some Netflix (And alright, we had break up sex). I think for a while we're going to keep this up, with obvious space and boundaries being applied. My question is who here has remained on good terms with their ex? Did you try being FWBs? While we like each other and we'll always be special to each other, I don't think there is any risk of falling in love, since we had never really hit that point to begin with anyway.
I've had several friends who have remained best friends with exes, especially under the circumstances you describe. The challenge is being clear on boundaries (whatever boundaries you choose to set), and also having honest conversation, preferably in advance, about what happens when one or both of you start dating others. The challenge often happens when one or the other party still has unresolved feelings. Also, this tends to get better with time. So it can be a little weird/awkward for the first month or two but improves significantly if both parties stick to the boundaries, and honest communication continues to happen.
I can't be friends with an ex if I have unresolved feelings. But if there's none, I don't see any reason as to why you can't be. Being hurt/jealous is the only reason why you can't be a friend to your ex.
