1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

"Friends" say the word "homo" all the time.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by David7991, Jan 14, 2016.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. David7991

    David7991
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2014
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hey!

    So basically I'm annoyed as hell because over the past year ive made a few straight guy friends, all who know that I'm gay. They're great guys however as soon as they get to know me I think they like testing me or something or they just don't understand, and for example if they're talking about somebody they casually say "he's a homo" or something along those lines. At first I thought they were being sarcastic but I've come to realize they're using it seriously as a derogatory term... I really don't get it, and at first I was fine with it. Why should it bother me when it's not really about me? However, one of my closer friends just started saying homo and faggot around me so casually and each time he says it I realized my spine curls a bit and I mentally somewhat shutdown emotion toward him,I get anxiety in the pit of my stomach and I also somewhat grow a bit of resentment toward him each time he says it. I definitely think those words trigger me a bit, but I feel like if I say something they're gonna be like wtf its no big deal?? Because they're privileged and don't know what it does to a person. I definitely know I need to talk to them about it but what can I do now to make them maybe realize that it's wrong without outright being like can you stop you're making me feel like shit... :bang:
     
    #1 David7991, Jan 14, 2016
  2. Secrets5

    Secrets5
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello,

    Just tell them it's never polite to use words like 'a X' [X being anything] as it changes the meaning from simply a group they are in, to suggesting that's all they are. Maybe they don't realize they're saying anything bad, tell them why it's hurting you and everything. Perhaps also ask them if there's anything you're saying that's offending them.
     
    #2 Secrets5, Jan 14, 2016
  3. Runner5

    Runner5
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2014
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    If you never tell them then it will never change. Just tell them what you just told us.
     
    #3 Runner5, Jan 15, 2016
  4. VampireGrin

    VampireGrin
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2015
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    They sound really immature. My friends use to do shit like that while I was closeted, but never do it anymore. One time one of my friends used "that's gay" and acted like he was the worst person ever when it slipped out. People are gonna use homo and gay in a derogatory way unfortunately. Hell, even I do from time to time. But it sounds like your friends do this a lot which is totally disrespectful and insensitive. Tell them to cool it and say that it upsets you.
     
    #4 VampireGrin, Jan 15, 2016
  5. bookreader

    bookreader
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2014
    Messages:
    2,748
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Suburbs
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I agree with the others. If you tell them, then hopefully they stop. If they don't, then, there are other friends around.
     
    #5 bookreader, Jan 15, 2016
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)