About 8 months ago my friend (who I have a crush on) tried to make out with me, but I had a panic attack as it's my first time and I'm very insecure about myself. Needless to say nothing happened between us after that, but I told her I had a crush on her. She said she didn't think we were right for each other anyway. So we stopped talking and I've now moved house. I never got over her though. I am applying for a job in her town in the hope she'll change her mind about me, she made the first move so she must like me too. Then today she texted me asking how I am. I had another panic attack, I don't know what to do. I'm still in love with her. I guess the general rule is if you're not over her don't try to be friends, but since there is no chance of us meeting in person at least for a few months, I'm thinking of just giving a quick reply like "I'm good, you?". I don't know how to stop the panic attacks, as if we ever did meet I'd just ruin it again. I've had that same reaction any time in my life anyone has tried to get close to me, which is why I've always been single. I'm thinking of getting therapy. Advice? :tears:
Definitely a good idea to get a therapist - just so you can get to the root of why you're having panic attacks over someone trying to get close to you, especially if you like them, too. Hmmm... do you think you'll go into a tailspin? Obviously she liked you, at least a bit, to try and kiss you. Maybe if you do therapy, while staying friends with her, things could work out in the end? It's tricky. Also, if you're actually thinking of moving where she is just so you'll be close to her again, I'd think about it a little more. Or just be honest with her, and say you're not over her, and where she's at with that so you'll know without pushing yourself into a situation that will blow up in your face. Are you ready to have a real relationship with her? Maybe she doesn't want to get close to you for fear that you're not really into it. If someone had a panic attack when I went to kiss them, I'd have to talk to them about it and see what's up, but if they couldn't get physically close to me without that happening, it would be hurtful to me -- even if that's not the intention at all. Definitely find someone to talk to, and keep posting on here. Why do you think you get panic attacks when this happens??
I think that she did like you, but because you didnt kiss her cuz of the panic attack, things you're not into her. Her texting you, eventhough you moved and rejected her, makes me think she's not over you either, or still thinks about you. If you have a crush on her, go for it . There's nothing to panic about. You can always tell her that you are insecure about yourself, and want to take it slow, if she still wants a relationship with you. Just what I think. Do what you feel is right, and I'm sure you'll be fine
Thanks for your replies I have decided to find a therapist, and to stay friends with her long-distance. I think I need to get over these panic attacks before we meet again, so I don't hurt her again. I don't know why they happen, I think I have a fear of intimacy, although I don't know why that would be either, or how to stop it.
