hi, I'm sure this has been said before however I just wanted to ask some advice about it. I've been dating this girl for 2 months now, and yesterday we had this fight. She is not out to her family, friends , colleagues or anyone and has only just started coming to LGBTQ events and is only out to those people, on the other hand I am out to my family and most friends. Although I knew this at the time that we started dating, it has begun to bother me more. For example, even in my flat at home she will avoid going into the kitchen afraid of being seen by my flat mates or if they come in and we're holding hands she'll immediately jump away. I know she doesn't mean to do it, but it is frustrating that we can't hold hands anywhere or when she introduces me as a friend. I have spoken to her about it and she says that she is taking steps to come out, but realistically we both know that she will not be fully out to her parents (they're catholic) and probably a long time before she's out with even her closest friends. I want to support her through this, but I'm not sure how to do this as it still does frustrate me that she feels so uncomfortable and we aren't able to relax :/
I was only out to one close friend when I first started dating my current boyfriend. Within a week I came out to my roommates and a couple other friends. However, some friends and my family took months. It wasn't until 4-5 months that I told my parents. Not once did my boyfriend pressure me, which I very much appreciated. It sounds like this girl is moving at a much slower pace, which I understand is probably very frustrating. Let her know that she can tell people at her own pace, but that it is starting to bother you since you have to hide and lie with her. It sounds like she needs a little push. Just make sure you don't come across as pressuring or threatening and it should be fine!
I agree with Vampire. If you like this girl, then you should be there for her. Just try encouraging her. If it fails, then she has you.
