Hey guys so before I begin I would just like to say that first, thank you to all of you that decide to read my post because I do really need some advice. And second sorry if this post makes you a little creeped out. So I am a 15 year old boy and I am in love with a straight guy. It started when I was in Year 9 (I live in Europe, not America so I don't know what it is over there) and I just had a crush on him, I would stare at him in class (not creepily, and when I say stare I mean quick glances that last about 5 sec per minute because he would always look in my direction). Then I would just daydream about him and think about him a lot until he was all I thinked about. I used to think that if I did the slightest thing wrong to him like mistakes he would hate me forever and I would take it out on myself (not insane just minor stuff). And everytime I talked to him I would turn into a complete idiot because I never knew what to say. Eventually word got to his girlfriend about me having a crush on him and first she asked me on text but I couldnt reply because I didnt know how she would react and I didnt want the guy to hate me or hit me or anything (btw he never knew about me having a crush on him or anything) And then she asked me in person and I told her and she promised she wouldn't tell him and that she would let me tell him, so the next day which was the last day before we had 6 weeks holiday I decided to tell him (even now I feel annoyed at myself because I feel like I relied too much on his girlfriend for me to tell him myself and I tell myself that if my love was strong enough for him then I would've just done it all myself). He agreed to meet in a part of school where we had our privacy and I told him that I fancied him, there was a moment of silence and then he said "I don't mind whether you are gay straight or bi but I love my girlfriend but I love you as a friend". I had a moment of shock because I didn't know he was going to react so well. We shook hands and he went to his girlfriend and I went back to where I usually hang out. After the break things got better between me and him, we talked more and that (but during class only because when he is not in class he spends all day with his gf just those two). But now even though his gf helped me a lot now she is super protective of him like because I play basketball at break in school she would sometimes walk over with him and hug him and stuff right in front of me and hug him again when she knows I make give a glance in his direction. Sometimes when his gf isn't with him in class he will talk to me and stuff, (btw him talking to me is like feeling as though I have won the lottery) but when she is with him it is though she is telling him to ignore my existance and it hurts me in someways. So the advice I need is what can I do to maybe talk to him more or become better friends. And please please please do not put 'Just forget him and move on' because I do not want to forget him. Again thank you for reading. (&&&)
I don't know what to do either because I've got a crush on my best friend and it's something difficult to handle when it doesn't go both ways ( http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/202769-straight-best-friend-drama.html ). I understand the kind of situation you're in because of things that have happened in the past so I'm gonna wish you luck and tell me how it works out! What I can tell you is to try to become better friends but don't push it. Again, good luck
To me his GF's behavior sounds perfectly normal for a girl in love. I don't think she necessarily does that to show you off or to be protective of him. I'm sorry but moving on is the only way for you if you want to feel better. It's not like he can become gay no more than you can become straight. The sooner you internalize this the better.
To me his GF's behavior sounds perfectly normal for a girl in love. I don't think she necessarily does that to show you off or to be protective of him. I'm sorry but moving on is the only way for you if you want to feel better. It's not like he can become gay no more than you can become straight. The sooner you internalize this the better.
Thank you for replying and I know that his GF's behaviour is normal it is just sometimes I feel that she does certain to intentionally hurt me and I have accepted that I will never be with him, I just want a bit of advice on how to talk to him or how to become closer, so to become better friends
If you want to stay friends with this guy without torturing you, I cannot give other advice except trying to find the very roots of your emotions. For example, if you feel jealous, it's not the root. Jealousy is caused by fear of losing which in turn is caused by something else. If you are able to follow this chain to the very bottom you stand a much better chance of getting over your crush. One good question to start is why do you feel she is acting that way to hurt you?
My advice would be to let go of the crush, as hard as that may be. I think that it’s great that you told him your feelings. That must have taken a lot of courage. Most aren’t able to even to that and instead opt to spend enormous amounts of time wondering “what if?” Kudos to you. But now you have your answer, which is both good and bad. It’s bad because it wasn’t the answer you were looking for. It’s good because now you know and can stop wondering. You can move on. You can’t change his sexual preference any more than he can change yours. It’s innate. Spending your time thinking about how to change something that isn’t changeable is futile. Try to think of it in terms of costs. What is it costing you to have a crush on someone that, due to their sexual orientation, is never going to have a mutual feeling? It’s costing you your attention. You’re focusing all your attention on this guy and are potentially missing out on all the other fish in the sea – fish that might in fact be interested in you just as you might be interested in them. You may find that when you stop fixating on this guy, other doors you’d never even thought of opening suddenly become visible.
Hey dude! I'm on the same boat. Kinda. I too have a crush on a close friend of mine, but I don't have nearly the same amount of courage as you do. He sometimes acts to what we could perceive as "gay", usually as joke. Who knows, every joke has a bit of truth, right? But I would never have the courage to approach and expose my feelings, even if its just a crush. I can't offer much help, but maybe it soothes the pain knowing other people are passing through similar things. As for the girlfriend, like many here said, I don't think she wants to hurt you personally. Girls act like that to other girls as well, when they date someone's ex-boyfriend. As hard as it may be, getting over him is your best bet. I wish you the best, friend.
Hey thank you for the support. I have said this time and time again and not just on this site to the people that I have told that I never ever want to forget him. Right now I really want to talk to him so much but I don't what to say to him now but all I want is to become better friends with him just friends nothing else (unless he asked me out of course which will never happen) I just need advice on either now to speak to him or how to become closer but thank you for replying I hope your situation will be okay.
Hit the nail on the head. If you are getting no reciprocation whatsoever, you have to let go. I remember being your age and feeling exactly like this, but you don't want to get a reputation as a stalker. They sound like they have a happy relationship, and you should have one too, but just not with him. Sorry
