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Long Distance Relationship Help

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Young Blood, Jan 19, 2016.

  1. Young Blood

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    So my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now, but things seem to be a little strained now. We have almost nothing to talk about because that's all we ever do is talk. We've talked about almost everything and know virtually everything about each other. I think we do it because texting and FaceTime are pretty much the only thing keeping us connected and we're trying to compensate for the lack of the physical aspect of our relationship. Most couples get to cuddle up with each other when there's nothing else really to say and just enjoy the other persons presence without even having to talk. We don't have that luxury. When there's nothing else to say, what else can we do? I was hoping anyone here who has gone through a long distance relationship can lend any tips to keep the spark alive. Thanks in advance to those who read through all this and to anyone who has any tips!
     
  2. DougTheBicycle

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    Hello!

    Sorry to hear about the relationship troubles! I'm currently four years into a relationship, with the first three being long distance.

    From the sounds of it, you've got the communication aspect down. And that is a very important thing, because many Long Distance couples fall apart because they can't or don't communicate enough. So props to you for communication! :grin:

    It can be difficult not having the person physically there to just be with when the conversation runs dry. Not being able to cuddle, or go for a walk, or do anything together can put a strain on anyone.

    But it needs to be noted that time spent not talking, and just being by yourself, is just as important as time spent communicating. Time alone, whether you're in an LDR or not, is essential. It gives each person time to pursue whatever they like on their own for a bit, have a little time to unwind, and just generally refresh for a bit. So maybe, for a day or two, try not talking to each other constantly. A text here or there, maybe a call at the end of the day, but just spend some time with yourselves to be yourselves. And as far as Facetime/Skype goes, I would say try cutting down to once or twice a week. It'll give you both something to look forward too, make seeing each other more meaningful, and allow you both time to come up with topics of conversation, even if it's just talking about what you did in your time spent not talking.


    Hope this helped a little! And I hope everything works out with you and your boyfriend! :grin:
     
  3. Riz

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    If you're just longing for each others presence, but doesn't really have anything to talk about. Maybe try to have a call open on skype while both of you do other things online? Just have it open, a simple call or video too. If you find something to share and talk about, do it, but also don't be afraid to sit in silence and enjoy each others company.

    It sounds creepy because it's online, but it's not, irl no one would see it as strange. It really helps, for some reason. Good luck!
     
  4. Young Blood

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    Omg, thank you so much! I'll admit, I have thought about this but because we've been doing this so long and gotten into this routine it's definitely going to be weird to not talk so much anymore...Lol. But maybe that's what we need right now. To break out of routine and change things up a little. So I'll definitely talk to him and see how he feels about it.
    Thank you so much again and for sharing a little bit about your relationship. 3 years is a long time for a long distance relationship, but by the sounds of it you guys are together now and that definitely gives me hope for mine :slight_smile: So thank you and I hope things work out for you <3

    ---------- Post added 20th Jan 2016 at 05:40 AM ----------

    We've done this a couple times actually...Lol. And we used to sort of just stare at each other and not say anything but now it's become sort of awkward for some reason. Like both of us feel this need to try and fill the silence.
    I don't know. I'll definitely give this a try again. Thank you so much :slight_smile:
     
  5. Aspen

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    Instead of just staring at each other, you could try doing something. Eat dinner together. Watch the same movie. Look to see if you can find any online games that the two of you can play. If you have something to concentrate on, you won't notice the silence as much and a movie or game will give you something to talk about.

    I also second taking time for yourself. It's important for you to have your own life in any relationship but especially a long-distance one. Also, if you're both out pursuing things you enjoy, it'll give you more to talk about when you are spending time together.
     
  6. Young Blood

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    Yeah we've wanted to do this for a while but the only problem is I don't have a laptop so it makes a little bit harder to do those things. We've wanted to download a program that we can watch movies or play games and see other at the same time.

    Yeah I suppose we could do with time to ourselves. Thing is we don't really do anything at the moment so it's not going to help too much with talking lol.

    But thanks for the tips! :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Young Blood, Jan 20, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2016
  7. looking for me

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    i dont have any advise other than what's given here my friend. but i will offer a hug(*hug*). and i love your new profile pic, fantastic hair.:icon_bigg
     
  8. Young Blood

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    Aww (*hug*) :slight_smile: And thank you! I really need to cut it and re dye it though lol