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How do I tell someone I'm interested in?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by purplekitten5, Jan 21, 2016.

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  1. purplekitten5

    purplekitten5
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    I identify as bi-sexual, and I'm not out yet. I'm nowhere near out of the closet; however, there's a guy who is interested in me (and the feeling is mutual). I feel that he should know about me being bi, because I feel that it's an important piece of information for a romantic-partner to know. Huge issue, I haven't come out EVER, and I'm not sure how to not only come out to someone for the first time but how to also make him understand how important it is this information stays between us.

    Right now, all my mind can think of is, "Please don't tell anyone, but I'm bi-sexual. I like you a lot, and hope we can we more than friends. However, I understand if you need to time to think about this or are no longer interested. Please don't tell."

    - Purplekitten5
     
    #1 purplekitten5, Jan 21, 2016
  2. Euler

    Euler
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    Well, I don't think you have to immediately divulge that information. However, once the relationship becomes serious I think he should be notified.
     
    #2 Euler, Jan 21, 2016
  3. Lost From Flock

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    The only way I see it being an issue is if you've experienced episodes of cheating on boyfriends in the past. If you're comfortable and confident in finally being with a man then you have nothing to worry about. But if you think that old skeletons will crop up and ruin a relationship with this guy then telling him will help to prevent problems.
     
    #3 Lost From Flock, Jan 21, 2016
  4. Cort

    Cort
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    I don’t think you need to disclose your bisexuality to him right off the bat. Why not date him for a while first and get to know each other?

    Given that you haven’t told anyone yet and that you’d like to keep it a secret, it sounds like you yourself still aren’t quite comfortable with the idea of being bisexual. Maybe you can work on getting comfortable with the idea yourself and then – when you’re ready and confident – you can start to share it with others?

    In any case, I would build some trust with the guy before you open yourself up to him too much. There’s no shame in taking things slow.
     
    #4 Cort, Jan 21, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2016
  5. purplekitten5

    purplekitten5
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    Thank you very much! I won't tell him, and I'll take your advice and test the waters.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Jan 2016 at 05:58 PM ----------

    I've decided to keep my sexuality to myself for the time being. See how the relationship goes and if things get serious, I'll talk with him. Is that a good idea?

    ---------- Post added 23rd Jan 2016 at 05:59 PM ----------

    I'll take your advice, see where the relationship goes.
     
    #5 purplekitten5, Jan 23, 2016
  6. Euler

    Euler
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    I think this sounds like the best course of action.
     
    #6 Euler, Jan 24, 2016
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