So I was browsing on social media and came across an old family friend (who's my age) and decided to add them as a friend. To which after looking at their profile I found out he was gay which is No big deal for me, I was actually excited that maybe now I have someone to talk to. So shortly after I found out I told my brother (he was with me at the time). To which his reply was "called it told you he was gay". I proceeded to ask questions as to what's wrong with being gay? He told me "while I support gay marrage, I only do to spite all the religious people. I couldn't imagine having a gay kid, or a gay family member for that matter, that sucks". I so wanted to say something, but I couldn't due to risking outing myself. It did burn a little bit to hear that. So the next day I told my wife (who also knows this individual) to which her reply was. "Really, that sucks. I don't understand gay people, especially lesbians they are f***ING gross." I could not even get words out of my mouth, i honestly didn't know what to say. It's one thing hearing it from my brother, I know how he is. But my wife's reaction threw me for a loop. Even though she has gay family members I've never heard her talk like that. I took this situation To test the waters for myself, if I was to come out I wanted to see how they would possibly react to me. And to say the least it was not good, now I'm really discouraged, and feeling depressed . I'm pretty sure now if I was was to come out I'm going to have to deal with a lot of hate. :icon_sad::bang:
While these were not the kind of responses you'd want to hear, they sounded more ignorant and childish, frankly, than hateful. They seemed to have formed blanket opinions based on their ideas of what gay people are like in the abstract. I know you said your wife has gay relatives but I'll bet she doesn't know them all that well as people. It's unfortunate that it may come down to you to educate them but if you can one day, I'll bet they will change their tune. You could start with, "Love is love." Try not to let these uninformed reactions colour your personal growth. Just do what you need to do to move towards what will make you whole and happy.
Thank you, I'll try not to let there responses bother me. I've just been more emotional lately then usual, I figured they probably don't understand how hurtful there words were. But I do hope one day soon I can help them understand. I appreciate the help.
Wow your in a tough situation, wife and brother are homophobic. If i were you i would want to get out of that predicament. I honestly don't have any advice, but truly you have my best of luck.
Thanks, that's only the half of it though. I know my mom and step dad are extremely homophobic, I dread the day I ever tell them. I pretty sure my biological dad will be OK with it though. On the bright side I'm an adult and I don't have to live or deal with them if I don't want to.
Step up and take control of your life. Life is short. if you are unhappy, you have to ACT. Don't worry about what your family think, if you tell them the truth it might broaden their worldview and enlighten them, which would be good news for everyone
@anon004200 I totally know your right, I do need to take control of my life. I was just thinking to myself today. you need to speak up and let people know how you feel this is your life, and your letting it pass you by without speaking up. I actually really appreciate what you said it just puts it into perspective that I do need to step up and take control of my life. I know thinking about it and doing it are two totally different things. But again thank you.
