So I came out to my parents a year ago, rather they found out! The initial one month was crazy! They were in denial and they thought it arose from me not being confident about my masculinity, as I was gender non conforming as a child and I was bullied in school for it! My mom went into mourning for 2 weeks , she wept endlessly and my dad got to know a month later and it was worse as he googled about it and he found christian sites that made him believe that one can change their orientation! It was a traumatic experience in terms of the fact that I could not bare the sorrow! And at that point of time I didn't want to be straight and I didn't like them praying to God to turn me straight! I probably feared that such a thing might happen and my life would be terrible! I never realized then that prayer doesn't change a person's orientation and even if it did I would be happy with my new orientation when it changed! But that's beyond the point for this post! So basically I'm an only child and my parents are from a very conservative society and even talking about lgbt is a big taboo ! This was so bad for them! Anyway they came around to accept it, and are probably in a grief phase I don't know! But they just don't want to talk about it! They don't have right knowledge regarding it and even if I try to teach them, they feel that I have a very biased opinion and I'm in a fools paradise! It's exhausting trying to make them understand! My mom however says that she will not stand in my way to happiness and will accept me with the partner of my choice! Yes so that's enough right? But no! I feel so guilty for their sorrow! I want to help them overcome it and to escape from the clutches of societal pressure, they just don't seem to want to listen! My mom says that she will be in grief and she will be angry with God till her death! These words hurt me so badly! I don't know what to do I don't know how to make them realize that homosexuality isn't a bad thing! We practice a religion which is tolerant to homosexuality, yet they don't seem to accept it in any form ! I sometimes feel suffocated in the conservative and sexist atmosphere at home! Sexist because I don't think I'm very cisgendered either ! It's becoming hard! It would be nice if I'm given advice regarding how to make your parents listen and understand you! P.S they have refused to accept any form of therapy or help from pflag or the like ! There aren't any family members or friends who I would think can help them out with this !
My parents don't like talking about it either. I'm sure they're still in their denial stage, or at least my dad is. I'm the only boy in the family, so to find out that I'm gay doesn't really help either lol. My mom as also found some Christian sites and claimed that it was only a phase, and that it could be prayed away which was obviously not the case. I'm sure your parents know that you're gay, but are denying it. My parents know that I'm gay, and they know that I have a boyfriend, but they're in denial for sure. In my situation, I've learned to just let time do its thing so they can slowly accept that I am gay. Heck, it took me 2 years to get to where I am now, and for them it will take much longer. I've tried to introduce to them LGBT things, but they just don't know what to say. All I can suggest, is show them that you are happy being who you are. Be yourself, and let them know by your actions that you're doing okay, and that although you are gay, there are millions of other things that you are known for. I play the piano, am a lifeguard, and much more. My dad one time said that he might not even accept I'm gay until the day he dies, which is entirely possible. However, that is honestly his loss, and while the world is moving forward, he can either move along with it or fall behind.
Yea, I guess I should let time do its thing! The deal reason probably why I don't understand is coz I never had a problem with being gay, it just felt so right! Maybe that's why I'm not able to understand the time required to come to terms with it! But yes I guess time is the best medicine! I have hope that when they see me with my partner they will be happy!
Responsibility can be defined in many ways. MY dad explicitly told me that he wants me to move out and live my life. That he can take care of my mom and himself till the end. It's me that isn't convinced. I want to support them in their old age, but I still want to live on my own, so there are many ways that can be done. Are you sure you want your parents to live with you, OR can it be that you can still take care of them financially and responsibly even while not living with them? Just asking.
@Phoenix : i would prefer living near them! i know my mom expects that ! Its more about being present in their old age rather than any financial or physical help! with them is impractical but near them is essential! i would want the same for my partners parents too! so yes technically ill be moving out !
