I'm writing this post for advice, what could help me to live further. I'd really be glad, if someone could help me with this. So recently (3 months ago), I met a guy in a game. After the game, we introduced ourselves and started to chat about ''game'' stuff. He seemed very polite, gentle and funny. After one hour talk, I added him to my friendlist, and so did he. One day after, we had a real talk about our lives. I said him how I'm feeling these days, and he helped me as much he could (because my life so far is not easy now, and he helped me solve many problems with my inside feelings). He earned my trust and said that he'll be with me as much as he'll be able to, and that I can trust him everything. Let's just say: ''if I'll feel bad, you can have my shoulder''. Later, when I started to talk about my problems often and often, I had a thought he wasn't listening me at all, because I know that feeling very well, which is the pain of ignoring. I was wrong, the reason, why he didn't answered me, was because he was ''busy in the game''. After it, let's just say, the relationship got first hit, because I exploded. I started to talk about stuff that the game is much more important than me, that he lied to me about his words, and wasn't listening what he says at all. Then he started to ignore me, because found out that there's no point to write, because he thought I'm not listening at all. This situation sounds really stupid, I know, but it kind of smashed my inside feeling, because we lost the ability to listen to each other. One day after, I wrote him a big ''sorry'' letter, because I felt guilty. In that day, he didn't answered, he did it only on the following day. After it, our relationship had peace period, because we both felt guilty and there was no reason (from his words), to continue this. Yet, it wasn't the happy ending. After 2 days, he met another friends and then he started to match them with me. I felt like I'm nothing to him and his words were just a single piece of nothing that time. The friend, who I knew, was completely gone. We had a big dispute, and then, let's just say, there was nothing left of the relationship we had. In the same day, he begged me to forgive him, but I was feeling so much pain, that I couldn't. The reason, perhaps, is that I was betrayed and matched my entire life, and finding another person, who matches me, is making me feel like I'm nothing, again. After couple days, I tried to find my fault in it , and tried to forgive him. I did it, but our relationship has never been the same again. It's been a month already, and I'm not brave enough to say him, that I did it, because I loved him. Should I say it? Because, literally, all I know, is his interests, his age and where he lives. I haven't seen him in real life, but each conversation what we had, I felt, that he was a good guy, because he said infinite times, that he cares about me a lot, he tried to help me, even when he didn't wanted to and tried to be a good friend, until now. When I asked him, on which place I am now from his ''friendlist'' (it was meant like a joke, I didn't thought he'll say, because friends cannot be divided into places, right?), he said I'm the second. That ''lighted'' my mind a lot and gave me a lot of insecurity after it. Perhaps I shouldn't? Perhaps we should do atleast a facecam? Perhaps relationship from distance is not possible? Perhaps we should find out about each others lives more? I don't know what to do, I cannot solve this puzzle, it's barely impossible, because a bonus is, that I don't know if he feels the same to me. From one side I feel pain, what he caused to me, but from other side I feel the warm feeling, that I know him my entire life and we're related. I'd be really grateful for any advices and must give my apologies for my poor grammar.
