Hey guys, What should I do? I have been interning at a large non-profit for several months. When I first started I noticed a woman wearing a tie ( I had never seen a feminine woman dress like this before and this made me believe she was either not into traditional gender roles or a little gay) it may be wrong for me to make these judgements based on her wardrobe, but I did. I mean I don't know many straight woman who wear men's ties but that doesn't mean they don't. So she's pretty, intelligent and has an aura about her that I just love. Her assertive, confident personality is something that I admire. The other day I talked to her for the first time, I had to cover the receptionist desk for fifteen minutes while the regular receptionist went to lunch. I had no idea what I was doing, the phone was ringing every minute and for some reason I couldn't transfer calls to anyone. I was getting super flustered when this same woman kept calling over and over and since I had no idea how to work the phone I kept putting her on hold and accidentally hanging up on her. Finally, I wrote down her number on a sticky pad and quickly went to Lauren's ( the woman I like) door and knocked, I was in a hurry Bc I can't leave the desk unattended and I might have been a little overexcited bc I was stressing a little , before she could even open the door all the way, I begin blurting out that the phone isn't working, I cant transfer calls, hand her The sticky note and ask or maybe more like tell her to call them, she takes the number from me ( we don't break eye contact the entire time) then stares at me without saying anything, I stare back because I'm not sure if she's pissed I just barged into her office all flustered about what's going on and kind of unintentionally demanding that she call this woman or if she's giving me "a look". Either way, the eye contact was suuuuper extended and it felt unnecessary. So I go home and look her up online and find out she's super into queer theory, and an lgbt advocate and I just think she's gay. So I want to pursue her but there are 2 problems 1. I'm 22 she's 30-35 2. She holds a very important position at the organization and I'm an intern there but for a completely different department. Should I pursue this? Is have to make up reasons to talk to her and subtly flirt, but I just don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I had a dream about her last night :icon_bigg
I am personally against work place romances - especially when there is a great disparity in power. If I were you I would carefully consider what to do. If you don't expect to stay in the organization very long you could ask her out AFTER you quit your job.
I agree with Euler. Comingling romance with work is a recipe for disaster – especially if she holds a position above you. Managers can get into hot water if it’s discovered that they’re in a romantic relationship with someone they’re supposed to be managing. It could be construed that the manager is taking advantage of their employee, or that the employee is using a relationship to garner favor with a superior. Things get messy fast. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t pursue her – it’s just to say that you should leave if that is your intention. My parents first met at work – my dad hired my mom. They eventually decided that they wanted to pursue a relationship. Once that decision was made, my mom quit the job and my dad told management what his intentions were. Overkill? Maybe. But I think that it’s good to play it safe when it comes to work. You don't want to harm your nor her career.
I Agree with everyone's feedback. She works in a completely different department than me, I would never need to interact with her, if we were to date then it ended badly, I could continue working without ever interacting with her... The age difference is my concern. I've always been attracted to older women.
the age difference is your concern then? well i'd say if you don't have an issue with the whole ''work thing'' then why you worry about the age gap, she's 30's and you're 22 so you're both adults that can make any decisión you want to make in consent
