okay so as some of you may have saw in my previous posts about my ex girlfriend, and how she ignored me, and how things basically ended between us. if you haven't, you can go look at them to get a background picture. It's been 4 years since i've had my heart broken like this, and it's frustrating me how i can't move on from this girl when i barely knew her, and he only dated for a week. i didn't love her, but i liked her quite a bit and cared for her a lot for example, after my first love broke my heart, i used sex as a way to escape and so i had redownloaded the dating app, where me and her first talked ON because i thought just casually flirting would help me move on since it did last time.. and i saw our old messages, and i immediately freaked out, my heart started clenching and i deleted it, and i'm too scared to download it again. or even go on a dating site. another example is sex. i have no interest in sex anymore. which is really weird considering that i use to have sex casually, (safely too), with other girls. but i can't get into masturbating or even the thought of having sex with a girl. it scares me more or less because it make me think of getting close to them, and it just makes me think of attachment and that scares me. it even hurts. it's been a month since we split, and a few weeks since things ended abruptly. and i still cry, and i get angry when i get reminded of her during the day, then get sad at night. i barely knew her, but i gave her so much trust, and care with the time i spent with her and i haven't done that in as i'v said in years. and i think that's what hurts the most, knowing i gave everything i had held back for years to someone who never cared for hurt. and knowing she's happy about it makes angry and sad. and i've been emotional wreck since everything. i've even started blaming myself for the whole thing, and my depression has come back, and i had ended up breaking down and cut up my wrists and attempted suicide last week because everything just got to me i've been trying so hard to not care, and roll it off my shoulder because it's stupid. i barely knew her, i didn't love her and we didn't date long but she fucked me up so bad. and that really has frustrates me. i haven't been this hurt in years, and i don't know. i'm focusing on moving out in march, and i've been working my ass out, but no matter how days go by from when it ended, it still hurts and it just is frustrating because a part of me doesn't know why i'm like this? and another part of me just wants to move on already, and stop hurting? what's your best advice on this situation?
Just to add, I've talked about it to my friends but it just doesn't really help. It's like just hard to dismantle the pain a bit. I've lost myself it feels like. All my confidence and everything. I've been way more irritable than lately too. I've been snapping at my best friend in which I don't mean to. It's just I'm like hurt inside and I break down about it twice every week and I'm trying so hard to brush it off my shoulder but it's becoming harder and harder with each passing day
i think i read the other one where you said she didnt felt mentally into the situation? that was posted a month ago, i had similar things happened to me in my teen years both a girl breaking up on ''something developing'' or i breaking up with it, mostly was the first case and it does feel bad after the splash for a bit, so what you're experiencing is maybe because even if you barely knew her you might had some neat instant connection with her but in the end she didnt develop or wanted to develop the same feelings for you so she decided to split, my advice is that you put this girl behind you, it is not an easy thing to do in your situation but continuing with the subject is going to cause that you continue to feel the same way you're feeling now or worse, it will amp those feelings (anger, frustration, confusion) that you don't need to keep, give yourself a time off with the theme. Also i think, you should not blame yourself, if you put all your efforts into making that work then you have nothing to regret or feel bad about, in any case is her that didnt handled things the best way, but in the end she broke up to avoid that same thing, not having how to deal with the events, best of luck
I'm not trying to think about it. It just happens where I'll be reminded like little things. Such as songs and certain places I went with her and I try to you know roll it off as just a song or a place but it comes back to haunt me and it's just hard but I'll keep trying. Thank you
no probs, yeah those little things as reminders get all of us linked somewhere and at times hard to avoid, but take this as an experience for future relationships/future dates
I will. It just I guess makes me mad that she's happy about it. Like she doesn't care that she lied to me and ignored me and then said all that shit when I was only being there for her. I had like saw she posted something about wanting to die and I texted her and said if she needed someone, I would be there and she just texted back "why are you texting me I don't want to be with you" and then sent me a song a few days later with the title "sorry" and then when I tried to start a conversation, she flat out ignored me and it's like ??why and it bothers me a lot that she doesn't give a shit and she treats it like a game
so she posted something suicidal and you texted her in case she needed support and she flat out told you that? i know she might had been in a bad day but yeah it does sound like she's treating you like a game, is your choice to turn the page and close the book here, plus she also ignores you when you try to start a convo, seems like you need to stop contacting this girl asap, by what she said is clear that she ''knows your available for her'' and sometimes people (guys/girls or everyone) acts this way when they have the plate on their hands, i dont know why they do but many people do it, seems like she knows you're going to keep track of her and wants to text you only when means a fun game for her, cause also the ignores you part it could be because she's using that time to speak to other girls
Being rejected or invalidated by anyone - let alone a crush - is a very difficult thing to deal with. The number one thing you should NOT do is waste time soul searching for a reason why the relationship ended. Our brains are hardwired to look for the “why” behind everything that happens. We want answers and we hate uncertainty. We are in dire need of rational explanations for seemly irrational events. We want clear cut lines to everything. In your pursuit of an answer to the question “Why did this person leave?”, you’re inevitably going to blame yourself. Things you did or didn’t do, things you said or didn’t say, how you look, how you carry yourself, etc. It’s a cycle of self-hate and torment that, once started, doesn’t end. The reality is this: You don’t need to answer the question “Why did this person leave me?” Stop trying to think of what you could have done differently, or of how things “would have been” if only things had turned out different. No good can come from “should be” or “would have been”. None. The world isn’t certain and people aren’t rational. She has all sorts of issues of her own – you just can’t seem them because you’re too focused on what’s wrong with you. To really get over this person, my advice would be to cut contact with them. Get rid of anything they gave you, block their phone number, get rid of pictures, unfriend them, delete their phone number – whatever you have to do. Live life normally without bringing this person into it in any way. Remove all the things that could trigger memories. Think of it like drugs. This person was a drug, and you need to detox and ultimately quit. The goal is to avoid relapse. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Think of all the opportunities! You may have taken a bit of a fall with this girl – but just get right back up and put yourself out there. Most people aren’t able to find that perfect relationship right away – it takes a few falls. Just consider this one the falls on the way to something better. Best of luck.
Yeah I haven't texted her in a week and a half and don't plan on texting her again but I think what hurts the most is just knowing I gave away 4 years of trust and care to someone who just flat out didn't give a shit but acted like it. She held me when I broke down crying and said all this shit to my face and since I trusted her, I completely forgot people can fake a smile and lie to you... And it just makes me mad I have regain my trust after just getting it back... ---------- Post added 25th Jan 2016 at 05:54 PM ---------- Yeah I haven't contacted her in a week and a half and don't plan to again, and it wasn't the rejection that hurt or even her breaking up with me. It was I lied to completely and i just was blind sided and I'm just emotionally a wreck and I haven't been this bad since my first love broke my heart which was as I said 4 years ago
