Came out to my parents and it didn't go well

I decided to start the new year off by coming out to my parents. It went badly.

The original plan was that I was gonna go out on a date with another guy I was talking to (guy ended up ditching me the day after I came out), so I used that as a way to come out to my folks. i wanted to be honest with them and I also felt ready to tell them. So i did. My mom wasn't too thrilled but she was calm about it. My dad, on other hand, went into hysterics and went into a quite selfish approach about it.

He claimed he was a bad parent saying "where did I go wrong" and "every worst possible thing that could happen to me is happening", he cried, he was depressed about it for a couple of days. And he was also angry at me. Saying things like "so you like a peckers in your mouth now? You wanna kiss another guy? Beard to beard? Mustache to mustache?", "if you bring another guy home I'll beat the s*** outta him". When I asked him what's so wrong about liking the same sex, he said "it just is, it's sickening". And he even proceeded to ask me questions about my childhood, he asked me if my cousin (who is also gay) touched me as a child. Of course he didn't touch me. My cousin would never do that. In fact, that very cousin let me stay with him for the entire weekend at his apartment and he supported me through this all and gave me good vibes and told me everything was gonna be ok. Never once did he try anything on me, because we are cousins. We're not gonna do anything like that. He's been a great cousin to me! And I'm glad he was around to help me and someone to talk to as well.

A few days ago, I was in the car with my dad and of course the subject of my sexuality came up and he asked me, "so is there any chance of you dating another girl at some point?" (Since I came out as bi to them). I told him I'm not sure. And he asks me "you know what? Do you want me to kiss you just so you can see how disgusting and unnatural it is for you to be kissing another guy?". I was like "dad that's incestuous that's gross" and he went "yeah exactly it's gross, just like being with another boy".

It's been about two and a half weeks since I came out, things haven't really changed besides my dad making those weird comments and asking weird questions that make me uncomfortable. My parents are still clinging to the idea I'll be with a woman soon. And it's absolutely irritating. They keep asking me if I've ever liked my friends and that if my girlfriends are available, I should date them. It's almost like they're making me feel ashamed that I like boys.

I feel like I'm still in the same rut as I used to be; Hiding myself from my parents. I thought if I came out to them, I could tell them about my dates, boys I'm talking to, and stuff like that. But obviously I can't. Because they don't wanna hear it. They haven't kicked me out or disowned me, thank goodness. But in a sense, it kinda feels like I have. Even though I haven't been. I kept asking them if they still loved me and they told me they still did. But I'm not sure how to deal with it.

My friends and my cousins have been mighty supportive of me. But it still hurts and I was hoping for a much better outcome but it didn't happen. I would appreciate any sort of advice or anything you can tell me. Because this is a really painful experience to go through.

 

Thanks everyone for the advice and good vibes! I do so greatly appreciate it. I thought I would update you guys a bit. Currently my parents have calmed down quite a bit and things are a little more neutral now. My dad talked to me some more about my future. And he told me "well I don't know whether you're gay or bi or whatever, but I hope you find some sort of happiness". And that really brightened me up a little bit. He didn't really say it in the most sincere tone, but it shows he's beginning to come through. Which I'm very proud of. It's a small step, but certainly quite an improvement. Whether this is the end of negative comments is beyond me, highly doubtable. But I'm still satisfied.

No I don't. Wish I did. But I still have my friends and cousins to talk to about it. And if things get weird again, I'll speak to them about it.

 

Hey guys. Thought I'd update you all on everything. I'm currently going through a ton at this point. My grandfather passed away last week and on top of that my Dad still really isn't coming around. Although he's somewhat calmer about the situation, I know it's still very uncomfortable for him.

He asked me if I wanted to go for therapy to which I said yes. A few days later, he gets into an argument with me and tells me that I hurt him. At this point, I just crack and say "are you serious? I hurt YOU? You hurt ME. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason I need therapy is because of you?", and he says mostly a bunch of crap and I then tell him that everything he told me a few months ago has stayed implanted in my brain. Idk if it made him think about it, but he's still giving me a hard time and I'm not sure what to do still.

I feel like they don't support me and where I'm coming from, and when I try to say something to that effect, they claim I'm unappreciative for the things they've done for me such as let me live here, the groceries they bought, the car and insurance they got for me, stuff like that. And I'm very appreciative of those things and I've made it abundantly clear with them about it but I'm still hurt. I'm still hurt by what they said and I've grown a sorta resentment toward my father. And I feel like he has for me as well, for some reason.

For instance, last week, when I was talking about something with my grandmother after my grandpa passed, he stops me and goes, "Ok Tyler, that's enough" and I felt so offended. I didn't say anything really bad or offensive, I was just talking to my grandma.

Again I'm not sure what to do, help is appreciated. Thanks guys.