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Work issue - really need some advice please

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sapphiregirl, Jan 28, 2016.

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  1. sapphiregirl

    sapphiregirl
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm madly attracted to one of my supervisors at work and have been for months. I'm a lesbian and I have strong suspicions she is too. She's 27 and I'm 22. There are many signs giving me reason to believe she's also gay but I won't go into detail about these.

    For the longest time I've noticed she's extremely quiet around me compared to with everyone else. She doesn't say anything to me unless it's work related, or unless I speak to her. When I do speak to her, she seems really happy. Yet, she easily jokes and talks to my coworkers who are the same age/gender as me. I sometimes see her looking at me from a distance, and if we walk past each other, she always looks at me and gives an awkward little smile. If I'm around her I often see her tense up, or fix or play with her hair.

    When she looks at me, the eye contact between us feels longer than usual. There have been a few moments recently where the eye contact has been noticeably intense and I swear she must have felt something too. Then at the same time, I can't work out why she's so quiet around me. I have worked with her for just over a year now though, and I do know she's a kind, genuine, sensitive person. Maybe she just doesn't like me at all.

    My feelings are so strong for her and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I know this sounds immature - I should be able to control myself, right? At the moment, this is just my part-time job and I plan to only be there for one more year or so. Every part of me wants to confess to her. I've been imagining having a quiet talk in which I tell her about the feelings I've developed and that I'm unsure of how to handle the situation. Of course, I don't want to put her in an uncomfortable or unethical position, and I don't want to make things any more awkward at work for her than they already feel. I know she has worked hard to get to where she is and I'd never try to compromise that.

    I don't know how she feels about me, but there's something going on. God, I can't get her out of my head. I've been trying to distract myself by talking to other girls. I'm meeting up with a girl for coffee on Saturday, but I just don't know how I'll be able to date or start a relationship with another girl when I'm so attracted, in every way, to my supervisor.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Apologies for my rambling.
     
    #1 sapphiregirl, Jan 28, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2016
  2. Cort

    Cort
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    You summed up the big issue perfectly:

    Making any sort of advance on your supervisor would put both of you in an incredibly bad position. If you respect this person, you won't put them into a corner like that. Not only could you lose your job, but they could lose their job.

    If you really feel like there is potential for a relationship with her - and you really feel that you just can't stand not expressing your feelings - then I would suggest you quit this job and find another one. Once you sever your tie to the company, then at that point you can approach this person and tell them how you feel - without having to put their career and their reputation in jeopardy.

    I know that it can be hard to think straight when emotions are raging. I would suggest you just try to calm down, take some deep breaths, pause, and try to think really long and hard about all the different options you have and the potential consequences of each option.

    Just my opinion...
     
    #2 Cort, Jan 28, 2016
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