I'm a freshman in college, and I live in the dorms. I was placed with a wonderful roommate. We get along very well, and she puts up with my weird ranting. We're planning on renting an apartment together next year. I just recently realized that I'm probably gay. Should I tell her? She is supportive of LGTBQ+ rights, but so are my sisters, and my sisters are sometimes uncomfortable around lesbians. I don't know if my sexuality would make her uncomfortable. Does she deserve to know before we sign a year-long lease together? I'm not fully confident with my sexuality yet. I've only known for a couple of days, but if we're going to find other living arrangements for next year, I need to know soon. And if that happens, I don't know who to room with. I don't know many people in college, and a lot of the people I do know are not pro-gay and/or I'm not comfortable living with them. What should I do? Help!
If you are planning out to come out at some point during your common residency I think it is only fair and smart to talk about this beforehand. Suppose she was not comfortable with this after you signed a lease and you came out to her. How awkward would life then be? Plus if this happens soon after signing the lease she might think you sort of mislead her. Just because someone is supportive of something does not mean that they are necessarily comfortable that happening in their house. For example I unconditionally support free speech but there are a lot of things I don't want to hear in my house. Just because I think everyone should have unconditional freedom of speech in public sphere does not mean I support it in private sphere.
Yeah. You're probably right. Thank you for your advice. That was a good point about freedom of speech.
I agree with Euler. People are sometimes only supportive of something at a distance. What if you bring someone home and she's uncomfortable? I would just hash it out because it's about making sure you're going to be comfortable as well with her reaction and views.
