For awhile I've had a crush on a girl and she is Muslim and from what I know about her religion she is homophobic ( she's not vocal about it though). From the time I started to have feelings for her till now I've discovered that I'm a bisexual. Another thing that has come up is I'm pretty sure she likes me. She shows signs of affection she sits by me we walk to class together and she rests her head on my shoulder. All my class says we should hook up bit we are both too shy to do anything but blush at these comments. I'm really afraid that if I don't tell I'm bi soon (I'm still in the closet) we will become closer and closer and she will be even more hurt and devastated than she will be if I tell her now. I'm so nervous about her reaction its keeping me up at night how do I approach her about this (or do you think she's just being friendly). On a similar note is it wrong for me to have feelings for someone who is homophobic when im bi myself im so confused.im young and although eccentric im very new and shy about opening up to people about my true thoughts. I'm very nervous and scared because I think I love her :help:
I think you’re making some big assumptions here… Just because someone is Muslim doesn’t mean they are homophobic. Are there Muslims that are homophobic? You bet there are! But there are also plenty of Muslims – especially among youth – that don’t fit that stereotype. I wouldn’t be so quick to label her as homophobic without some concrete evidence – that isn’t being fair to her. I would agree that she likes you. Talking, walking to class together, and resting her head on your shoulder…all good evidence that she likes you. However, I don’t see enough evidence to show that this is a “romantic” liking as opposed to a “friendly” liking. I think you need more evidence – perhaps flirting. Until you’re certain that she “likes” you in the same way that you “like” her, I don’t see why you should feel a need to tell her that you’re bi. I think you need to pause and let this play out a little longer. Get to know her a little better. Get a better sense of how she may or may not feel about you. Get a better sense of what she thinks about people that are bi, as opposed to assuming she is homophobic solely on account of her religion. There are lots of ways you can try to better understand what someone’s take is on bisexuality without disclosing that you yourself are bi.
I think Cort's comment was absolutely brilliant and I couldn't agree more. I think you've been very quick to judge her potential homophobia which is proof that you aren't that close and probably don't know each other enough (on a deeper level I mean) and that you should probably try to get to know her much better before initiating anything. I mean LGBT rights and a lot of other topics I am passionate about tend to come out very quickly in the conversation when I meet someone I could see as a potential partner as I know they could all lead to potential deal-breakers. I couldn't be with someone that is against gay people having the same rights for example or someone against immigration. I don't feel I have enough information about him (or her) and our compatibility until I actually get a glimpse of his (or her) ideals/ vision of the world and his (or her) thoughts on certain topics. Now to go back to her being Muslim and therefore homophobic that's a massive assumption. One of my closest friends is muslim and she's been more than supportive when I came out to her, she is a 100% for gay marriage/adoption and gay rights in general. She is an amazing person and her religion have nothing to do with it. Of course that girl could be homophobic, but unless you have a talk about it with her, you simply can't assume. Good luck though OP, I hope it works out with that girl
