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Do you think he has gay feelings for me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bk3man, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. bk3man

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    So even though Everyone thinks I'm straight, I have feelings for one of my best friends, and I think he secretly feels the same way for me, even though he's straight. We work together and he honestly touches me non stop during out shifts. I'll walk by him and he'll randomly grab my nipples, I'll bend down and he'll grab my butt, one time I bent down and he stuck his bare hand down my pants trying to put a pepper in there as a joke, he'll poke me in my private area with random objects when he walks by me. He also always wants to have random wrestling matches with me. It's just making me think, why would he be touching me non stop like this if he's straight?? He even one time sent me a random snapchat of his scrotum. And he's sent me other signals as well I feel like, like one time he randomly said to me it what appeared to be a joking way "what would you do if I was gay?" And I said "well I wouldn't mind I don't judge people based on that" and then he said "well what would you do if I tried to make out with you?" And I just replied really dude and that was it. One time time we were in a hotel room together and he randomly goes "I got a Mohawk down wanna see it??" and then he instantly drops his pants showing me his penis. And somethings we get into stupid arguments, but he gets so into it like he cares so much about me, like he'll send these massive text messages that are as long as books. I've had feelings for him for months now but because he's supposedly straight I don't say anuyhing, but lately it's been bothering me so much. Do you think it's possible he might secetley be gay and feel the same way?
     
    #1 bk3man, Jan 31, 2016
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  2. Aof

    Aof
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    from reading he is hitting on you like hardcore lol, since you are not sure because he is "straight" and scare to risk it because he might turn it back around. I think next time you should return what he did to you back to him. I feel like he is tasting a water and i assume he is not homophobic. If he grabs your butt then turn around and grab his butt and so on, see how he would react. If he asked you again about what would you do to him, then just say it out in a flirty way like " i would pin you to the wall and kisses you" something like that. If he act weird you can just turn it around and said you were joking since he was joking at first. If he flirts back then keep at it and see where it goes but that is just me since i don't know how you behave in real life.
     
  3. bk3man

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    Yeah I've already done that lol, he has no problem with me touching him back, like after he flicks my nipple I'll do it back and he'll just say "that was a weak flick" l. Based on all the stuff I mentioned above I think it might be time for me to attempt to talk to him about it
     
  4. Distant Echo

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    Step it up...he flicks your nipple, you grab his butt...see what reaction that gets...
     
  5. Aof

    Aof
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    ah, you can just ask him on what he thinks of you before you talk about how you feel about him. Unless you don't really care if he say no and him knowing how you feel about him while working together.
     
  6. bk3man

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    The thing is were really close friends, so I'm afraid I might be wrong so when I try to talk to him about it I'm afraid he'll not be my friend anymore. And it doesn't matter to me being co workers.Because we're always together and argue a lot people already make jokes that we're like a married couple
     
  7. Aof

    Aof
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    well that is why you ask him first on how he feels about you before you tell him about your feeling. If you are wrong that way you back it up with excuse like him being touchy and got you confuse. Tbh i don't think he will stop being friend with you, what kind of a close friend would stop being friend when he himself leads you on so much like that. Only thing that i can think of is he being deep in denial and you calling it out and he realized what he did and run back into his closet.
     
    #7 Aof, Jan 31, 2016
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  8. Distant Echo

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    He's grabbing your butt and has put his hand down your pants...he's flashed at you...

    I don't think you have anything to worry about...
     
  9. Van

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    Yeah, I think he might be into you. Usually guys act like that when they don't know how to show their interest in somebody. That's a school thing - you like a guy or a girl, you go to them and punch them. :grin:



    Exactly! :grin:



    P.S. If a lesbian tells you you ain't got nothing to worry about, then you really need to make out with him. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Love my lesbians! (*hug*)
     
  10. Distant Echo

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    Hmmm..love my lesbian too :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  11. bk3man

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    It's just a difficult situation. It's like I'm always feeling down about it lately. I just wanna know so I can stop wondering
     
  12. Van

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    Then you should talk to him. :slight_smile: Maybe he is wondering the same thing. :rolle:
     
  13. Euler

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    OK, for the sake of not jumping into obvious conclusions let's take an other perspective.

    It is true that judging what people do on absolute level is hard because people are different. Some people are very touching and others rarely ever touch each other in a normal friendship. Instead of paying attention to what your friend does to you, see how he behaves with others? For example, does he put his hands in other friend's pants or touch other people's nipples? :slight_smile:
     
  14. bk3man

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    To be honest, once in a while he'll do the nipple thing to one of his friends, but that's it, not the other stuff,but it isn't often, with me it's every single time we work together multiple times.We work in a produce department of a grocery store and he even takes things like Cucumbers and pokes my butt with them. He loves touching me, like even a couple weeks ago I threw a hotel party and me and him were the last ones up, so we took a drunk walk around the hotel and he randomly decides to have a wresting match to see who can pin the other person to the wall first
     
  15. AlmostBlue

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    Asking him how he feels about you might not work, given the joking nature of your friendship. He might be in the exact same situation as you, from what you've written. I know it's really nerve wracking to tell your feelings to him, but I think it's possible to just mention it in a casual way. Tell him that you think he's amazing and all this fooling around has gotten you curious to try more, or that you might have a crush on him. Then depending on how he reacts to that, you can brush it off either as a casual spontaneous comment, or take it further together. I would guess that if you initiate casually to do more, he would jokingly and casually reciprocate. Even if he doesn't, I'm sure he's the kind of person who wouldn't make the situation awkward.
     
  16. bk3man

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    Like I mentioned above, I just don't wanna damage our friendship. This guy has done so much for me the past 2 years and I have so much fun when we're around eachother, so I'm just overly paranoid that I'm gonna lose him when I mention this. But then again, wondering about it non stop is killing me on the inside.
     
  17. bookreader

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    Um, I'm pretty sure the friendship won't be damaged if you guys have a serious talk.
     
  18. pestjohnbuda

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    I think you can pull it off to talk to him. It really sounds like he also developed a lot of respect for you, being so touchy and everything with you (be honest, he sees you definately as a friend, not a stranger) and I think you can tell him what you think. This doesn't have to be a confession to him that you maybe like him, but telling him your thoughts and that some stuff confused you can only clear up stuff, not? I bet that if he sees you as a friend, even after all these years, you can have a conversation with him about this. Go for it, you can do it! :slight_smile:
     
  19. Euler

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    The fact that he seems to do this stuff only with you is a pretty strong indication that you have a special relationship to him. Now, to an outsider it does indeed look like very much like he is interested in you BUT it could be just a bromance too. However, unfortunately it is completely impossible to tell for sure.

    I can feel your pain on this one. I also have a very weird kind of a relationship with a friend. We sleep in the same bed with occasional spooning, have playful grappling matches (he does BJJ too and wants to try different moves on me), he makes a lot of gay jokes about us and he even told his hyper conservative dad who was telling him to find a nice girl and get married that he doesn't want a nice girl but a girl who is hot and takes care of the home and if he is to marry for love and friendship then he would marry me.

    How I see your options trying to find out are these:

    1) have an honest talk. It's unlikely you will lose him but your friendship might change for either better or worse if you talk to him about this.

    2) mirror what he does to you and escalate. This is basically what people said above. Perhaps you could arrange that you get him piss drunk and see if he lowers his guards and reveals something. However, you should not be too drunk yourself either.

    Also, you should be mentally prepared for whatever answer he has. What if he has feelings for you? Or what if he hasn't? I think you should think about this before you find out yourself.
     
  20. bk3man

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    Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it