Hey guys, I come to you with some serious fear about the whole thing. As the title may suggest, yes I am a virgin. I've been with a guy before but we never got as far as sex. We've done other stuff but that's not the issue. So i met this guy recently, and honestly he is amazing. I love talking to him, i love being around him, and we kiss hold hands etc...very intimately. He is quite experienced sexually, and I...sadly....am not. Once we were out as a group and the topic of sex after how many dates came up. He voiced his opinion that he waits a while before having sex with someone but if there is no chemistry from the first time, then he doesn't think it will workout with that person. Thats when i started thinking. I have never had sex before, and im getting worried about the whole deal. He is much bigger than me, so i figure i would be the bottom (my preferred role) and from all the stories I hear, the first time can be really painful. I need to know what I can do to maximize the pleasure as much as possible, minimize the pain. Maybe preparations i can do that might help and make this an enjoyable moment for both of us. Any advice would be lovely. Thanks.
To me, you shouldn't force yourself to have sex with this guy. Do you want to have sex because you want to or do you want to have sex because he wants to? Think about it.
Honestly, Yes i want to. He has never pestered me into it. Neither have we planned it, or discussed it in any way. Im just saying if it ever lead to it. We have been alone before and just sitting and talking or just holding hands without every talking about sex or jumping at it like animals. Im asking in case it happened naturally and spontaneously.
I don't hear you saying you are going to be coerced, but I agree with book reader that you should do this when you are ready. The best thing you can do is get a dildo and spend some time with it. If you haven't masturbated with a dido before, you might want to start with a smaller one and work up to one that is similar in size to him if he is large. Take your time, use lots of lube, and get used to the feelings. That's the best way to prepare yourself.
I think that if you want it, that's okay. I do think that you can be free to talk about your worries with him, and maybe you should. This not only makes it clear to him how you look at it or something, but maybe gives him the chance to mention some worries to you. You could do it sometime when you feel like it, to make sure you both are ready for it and can enjoy it both!
Thanks for the reply guys. Im actually looking forward to it. I dont feel forced into it, if i was i wouldnt it. Any more advice on preparation?
If the time comes, I think that you should tell him that you are a virgin. Preparation and participation isn't solely one sided- he has a role in it as well. As for the first time bottoming, it can be quite painful and unusual. The best thing that I could suggest is to have regular bowel movements, practise with your fingers when cleaning around the area, and the usage of a lot of lubricant when it happens. There really isn't much that you could do- and to be frank? The anxiety and overanalysis of the experience tends to make it significantly more unpleasant When that happens you can expect cramping, tenseness, resistance and the whole thing becomes more so an exercise in technique and technicalities than something more of spontaneousness. Breathing is the key, deep breathes.
