I've been friends with this girl for a long time and she's the best friend I've ever had. She'd liked me for a while too except I didn't know it until later. I came out to her when I started questioning and she helped me a lot. We ended up starting a more serious relationship. I was apprehensive, but I did. I made a big mistake in letting it get far because I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to feel that way about someone, at least not as strongly as she feels for me and I can't take that back now. We've been talking about this a lot. We went back to being just friends a little while ago but it's hard. We've been so close and it's hard to know what things are okay and not okay to do and I keep making mistakes and getting too close. And because of how she feels for me she sometimes starts thinking I do feel more and am ready based on the things I do. I don't know how to fix it. I don't even know how to interact with her because I don't want to do something wrong. I don't trust myself. I don't want her to feel stuck in this. She already got into a relationship once before with a girl who was "experimenting" and it ended badly. I don't want this to mess her up, make her always afraid of it ending badly with everyone. She deserves so much more and I couldn't give that to her but I made her think I could which was horrible. I just don't know how to make things any better for her. She said she thinks she needs to try and see me as just a friend more but I don't know how to do that, how to start over. I don't know how to do this. We're stopping certain things probably like cuddling and hanging out alone for now, also things like calling each other hun and stuff. Any advice on what else I should do or how to make it easier to stop doing those things?
You can never just start over, or forget about it- the only way to get through this is to acknowledge that you were once together, and even harder- that you are no longer in that kind of relationship. I'm currently going through a similar thing- I was serious with my ex, but in my case it was unhealthy and I broke it off, despite having feelings for each other. I guess you just have to be concious and be aware. And if she tries to flirt, tell her in the nicest way you can, to not do it. It's probably not helpful, and there's no answer to this situation that'll make it all better- I'm sorry. But, over time it'll get easier for both of you! If nothing else will, time will heal... Good luck.
Thank you so much for your response. I hope things get better in time. I think she's more sad now than before and I hate that I caused her to feel that way, worse that she partially feels like she was to blame for letting it happen. I think it will get better, I just worry right now with how hard it is and how she feels and how sad she looks.
