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Two bad things've happened to me at the same time.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by 2uye1, Feb 1, 2016.

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  1. 2uye1

    2uye1
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    It've just happened to my life almost at the same time.
    My mom just passed away 3 weeks ago at the age of 59. It was a horrible experience. My mom's health had gone downhill then she has to spent the last week of her life in the hospital. In the mean time, I had an job interview in another city which I planned to move to. I really don't know it will be that bad and my mom also want me to get this job. So I did as what she said and it was my mistake. Two days later, she died in the hospital. I didn't go back in time. Beside the loss, now I regret not telling her who I am (I've just come out with my sister and my close friends).
    The second one is about my long distance relationship. We're even in different country. We've been in relationship for only 5 months but it was the great time for both of us. I often text him first because he's busier than me and he also appologies if he can't reply quickly. Everything has gone beautifully up until 1 month ago. He just disappeared strangely. I think he died by an accident or committing suicide. Both reasons might be possible. I don't think our relationship would work in the long run. It will end eventually but I can't imagine the way it happened. All his accounts are not working anymore. He hasn't even read my last texts and replied to my email. I don't have any contacts to his acquaintances. Now I miss him. He leaves a lot of questions to me.
    I just need to let this out and thanks for reading my post.
     
    #1 2uye1, Feb 1, 2016
  2. bluesky

    bluesky
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    I Hope you're doing all right. Sounds tough with the issue with your mom. People on here will help you through whatever it is. I know you probably have regrets for not telling her, but it's alright. If you're not ready then you're not ready, you know? It's not your fault. Just focus on yourself and try to be happy. Look forward with your chin up.

    With your relationship, are you just assuming he died? Maybe he just didn't want anything to do with the relationship anymore because you guys were so busy? I'm not sure. That's something to think about though. Why would you think he committed suicide? Were there things going on with him?
     
    #2 bluesky, Feb 1, 2016
  3. Lin1

    Lin1
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    So sorry for everything that have happened to you lately OP !

    If it's of any comfort to you OP, I don't think you should feel bad about not having been able to tell her that you were Gay. I am sure that she loved you and would have loved you after that, plus if you believe in after-life then she probably knows now that you are gay so I wouldn't fuss too much over it even though I can only imagine how hard it must be not to have been able to talk to her face-to-face one last time.

    About your boyfriend it does seem odd, but it could simply be that he wanted to be off social media for a while. Have you tried googling his name? If he died you may be able to find infos about his death.

    Big hugs to you OP and hopefully your boyfriend reappear safe and sound very soon with a good explanation !(*hug*)
     
    #3 Lin1, Feb 1, 2016
  4. 2uye1

    2uye1
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    Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I feel so lost since the passing of my mother. It's so much bigger than the regret. I just regret not letting her understand me more which makes a distance between me and my mom. About my bf, I find this odd too. I'm good at finding information. He doesn't use any social apps so I checked his youtube account, pretty sure that he stops using the internet. I hope he doesn't die or anything.
     
    #4 2uye1, Feb 1, 2016
  5. Elli

    Elli
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    So sorry to hear that..
    Not sure which Religion you believe in, if any, but for me personally the thought that close people who have passed away are still with me helped me through tough times.
    I like to think they are with you, protecting you, watching over you, so your mom would know anyway.

    About your boyfriend, it might be that he appears again at some point. I don't think it's that likely that he died. Maybe something sudden and weird happened which made him unable to check any messages/access the internet.

    Hope everything goes better for you as soon as possible :/
     
    #5 Elli, Feb 1, 2016
  6. Cort

    Cort
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    I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through a rough patch of life.

    The death of a parent is always realty tough. I would be careful not to blame yourself for not coming out, and not to blame yourself for not being there when she died. You were off doing exactly what she wanted you to do.

    With regards to the boyfriend – there are literally dozens of reasons why someone would just drop off the face of the earth like that. Accidental or intention death is possible, but there’s no way to know.

    I sure hope that things take a turn for the better.

    Best wishes.
     
    #6 Cort, Feb 1, 2016
  7. AlmostBlue

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Maybe she didn't exactly know that side to you, but I'm sure she knew how loving you were and how much of a good partner you'd be, whether it's to a woman or a man. I'm sure she understood you more than you think. Sometimes it's not about the details right?

    I'm also concerned about the situation with your boyfriend. It must be really worrisome. I assume he doesn't use facebook? If he does you can try messaging his close friends on there. Do you know where he works, or any place he frequented? I assume you have no contact information of his family as well?
     
    #7 AlmostBlue, Feb 2, 2016
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