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losing friends after coming out as transgender

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by arieltyler, Feb 1, 2016.

  1. arieltyler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    i feel like i have little to no support after coming out as ftm. i only have a few friends now, and most people don't use the correct name or pronouns. i guess i just need people to be there for me and to tell me that everything is going to be okay..
     
  2. BradThePug

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    6,573
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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    That is a hard situation to be in. If they are not willing to support you though, then they are not really your friends sadly. The good news is that you can make new friends, being yourself. It's a scary idea at first, but I now have closer friends than I ever had before I came out as transgender. So, this is just one of the hard first steps that you have to take towards becoming yourself.

    Do you know if there are any transgender support groups in your area? If there are, then it may be a good idea to try to go to a meeting. You may be able to make some new friends there as well.
     
  3. Alder

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Wandering
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It sucks to hear that that happened, and I hope you're doing alright. I more or less concur with what's already been said but I'll add my thoughts and support to you.

    Any of those friends who left you for being trans and aren't supportive of you, aren't really your friends. It might be hard at first in this period of coming out, where some people are going to be unsupportive and there might be times it feels uncomfortable and isolating- however it's not permanent. This is a first step towards building friendships with people who will support you and accept you for you, and moving towards a generally more healthy and validating life in terms of friends and acquintances. This is just an intermediate stage on a path towards a happier life.

    You definitely deserve to be gendered correctly, and for people to use your name. Even if they slip up or refuse to respect that, just remember you have every right to keep reminding them and stand up for yourself, as long as you're safe and aren't putting yourself in any danger by doing so.

    Everything is going to be okay. You're already well on your way, and all I can say is I know you can tough it through the more difficult times at present and you've got all our support too.

    Meanwhile, (I also agree with Brad on this), see if you can find any transgender alliance or support groups, and if not, there are also some online (I know Facebook has one or two I've heard of before). You can also check out some Youtubers (I follow Ty Turner, uppercaseCHASE1, and Skylarkeleven), they're all amazing guys and through their channels and community you might also find some people to talk to. These are good places to find support and to meet some friends who will accept you for you. Good luck and take care (*hug*)
     
    #3 Alder, Feb 2, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2016