I have been in a friends with benefits type relationship for about six months now, and I feel like I am completely in love with him. We get along well but I know he doesn't want anything more. The last time we were together I felt as though I was pulling back from him. I want so deeply to just tell him that I love him but I don't want to ruin what we have. He has really helped me to get comfortable with myself, and I don't want my feelings to start interfering with that. We will be laying together and all of the sudden I want to say it and I emotionally pull myself back and tense up. I really don't know what to do.
I think you need to stop and tell him the reason why you stop. If he is a friend and has no interest in you he will understand that you wish not to continue your sexual relationship and just remain friends.
I tend to agree with this. It's tough to give up amazing sex with somebody you're attracted to, but sex isn't everything. I also know that if you're developing feelings and know that he's not interested, you probably want to keep the sex going because it's *almost* like you're in a relationship and have everything you want. You're friends, you're close, you have sex. But you will end up getting hurt, especially if/when he ends up meeting somebody he wants to be in a serious relationship with and gives you up.
In general, I don’t think that it’s a good or healthy idea to have “Friends with Benefits.” Regardless of what you may think from the outset – it’s really difficult to not become emotionally attached overtime when sex is involved. Things can get really confusing and really ugly after that point. There can be jealousy, awkwardness, insecurity, and resentment when the “friend” doesn’t develop similar feelings. For a relationship to work, both partners need to be connecting physically and emotionally. FWB relationships, by leaving the emotional part out of the equation, teach both individuals involved bad relationship skills. It’s easy to learn to equate relationships with the physical – a habit that can undermine future relationships. I agree with Euler. If he isn’t interested in an emotional relationship and you are, you should put an end to it. Otherwise you’re just setting yourself up for pain down the road.
I would also add that FWB never work because one or both will end up hurt, so yeah, break it off. It'll save you more pain.
