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How to Talk to Mom About Hot Guys

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by pgc317, Feb 2, 2016.

  1. pgc317

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    So I've been out to my parents as a gay guy for over 7 months now, but I want to take it to the next level. You see, my mom was freaked out to say the least when I came out, but she is slowly moving in the right direction. I'd kinda like to push the boundaries a little and start a casual conversation about this guy I think is cute. After all, she and my sister always talk about cute guys while I just kinda awkwardly stay silent. I want that to change, but I don't know how to go about it. How do I casually bring up the convo (it would be over text since I'm in college)? How far should I go? I don't want it to be awkward, I just want it to be like she would talk to my sister. Thanks for the help in advance!
     
  2. Elli

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    Well, I don't know if you sincerely want to do that - I personally never felt the need to talk about people I find attractive or am crushing on ; Especially not with my dad, even if it would be girls (besides neither of them know I might be into girls).

    If you do want to do that however, I would recommend you start out casually maybe even when they are talking about a male celebrity they might find attractive and you agree on it. If she just slowly grew on it you really shouldn't overdo it.

    Maybe show her a pic of a guy you like/find handsome and ask her what she thinks about him etc etc.
     
  3. Cort

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    Why push her comfort zone?

    The fact that she is working on accepting the bombshell you dropped is awesome. I would let her continue to work on it a bit, rather than trying to throw her off kilter again.

    It's going to take some time before she's able to go back and forth with you about boys like she does with her daughter. She may never quite get there. What matters is that she has accepted you and is working on becoming more comfortable with the idea - that's much more than some get out of their mothers.
     
    #3 Cort, Feb 2, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2016
  4. Gravity

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    Just a thought - rather than talk about a guy you think is cute, or not talk about him, maybe address what you seem to suggest is the issue in your post - that you've noticed a double standard, where your sister can talk about this with your mom, but you can't (or can't yet), for whatever reason.

    Frame it as wanting to seek support and encouragement from her as a parent, and she may be more receptive. This is all part of her own process of coming to terms with her son being gay. Once you clear the air on that level and she recognizes that you have this need, similar to your sister, maybe she'll be more receptive to hearing (or even asking!) about it, and you'll feel more comfortable bringing it up.
     
  5. guitar

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    I avoid the "isn't he so hot" conversation with my family completely. My mom is accepting of me and all, but I'm so not ready to discuss who I think is hot. No thanks.
     
  6. pgc317

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    UPDATE:

    I decided to go against the cautions some of you brought up and just went for it. I sent the picture of the guy, asked her what she thought, and then she responded (positively) and asked who he was. She was probably relieved when I told her he was a random guy I know and not my boyfriend, but progress is progress!

    Thanks all for your input :slight_smile: